July 12, 2006
Permission to speak freely?

(the cursor is mocking me…. and words are failing me…. Well, all but the 4 letter #$*() kind.)

Do you ever hear things that make you shake your head. For hours? Did you hear the one about the destructive person who somehow manages to be the victim? Or, wait, better!!

Ooh! This is good! Hows about that story where a spineless, accomodating, enabling friend who excuses abominable behavior by daring to preach about Love? And the person who dared to put the relationship on the line to challenge sin in the hope of redemption was treated like a pile of shit?

Not that it matters that much to me personally. I always figure if you put pearls in the pen with swine someone is going to end up smelling like shit. And the other will remain full of it.

I am in awe. Truly.

There is a level of deception here that simply confounds reality. Up is down, black is white, love is evil, evil is good. And the dish ran away with the spoon.

I have very little compassion. I’m not naturally a very compassionate person. I don’t cry with many people. I won’t offer to “hold you” while you snort and hack and weep passionately onto my cashmere sweater. I don’t enjoy snuggles with anyone but my husband and my two boys. I freely admit that I can be perceived as cold. Sometimes I am cold. Not indifferent. Repulsed.

By what you ask? Oh, no really, you shouldn’t have… Really.

I am repulsed by people who refuse to acknowledge their own humanity. You fart too and sometimes, after Taco Bell, it smells like Predator died 2 weeks ago somewhere near the 4th loop of your large intestine. I am repulsed by people who wallow in blatant sin and then expect everyone else to accomodate them while they destroy, without descretion, all those around them. I am repulsed by excuses for idiocy.

If you will notice, I am not repulsed by humanity, sin and idiocy. I find them distasteful, but repulsive? I save that for the bottom feeders who find glory in all of the above. And don’t even get me started on the pathetic excuses for christchuns who dare to scream their false doctrine and turn their abomination into something to be proud of.

Call me judgmental. If judging is “forming an opinion or estimation after careful consideration” then I am rightfully guilty.

“Judge not lest ye be judged…” Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that refer to the condition and standing of someone’s immortal soul? A determination I am quite happy to leave in the hands of the Creator.

Forming an opinon or estimation of a person’s behavior by comparing it the G-dly requirements listed in Scripture (New & Old Testaments, it’s really just one big book folks, we are the idiots who dare divide the Word of G-d and make excuses for our unwillingness to obey Him when He challenges our comfort zone.) is part of our job. We are supposed to hold one another accountable. We are supposed to encourage one another in love and good deeds. If those things are true, then take the next Quite Obvious Step and assume with me that the converse is also TRUE.

We are to challenge the behavior that is NOT acceptable. We are to DIScourage one another in sin and evil deeds.

Is it possible that I am somehow misreading it because the Truth doesn’t line up with my personal comfort zone? Did some schmuck out there with a PH.D from a Cracker Jack box tell you your fleeting carnal pleasure is more important than the emotional and spiritual well-being of your children, your spouse, your friends, your extended family… Every person who ever knew you?.

Good luck with that, by the way. Honest folks generally call BS on stuff faster than you can make an excuse about why it’s still ok. I guess, fortunately for you, there aren’t many people out there who are honest.

I am so FREAKING pissed right now. And I didn’t even talk about half of it. I can’t.

The cursor is still mocking me.

And if you are wondering if I’m talking about you? Guaranteed I’m not. The only person/people I’m speaking to will never read this.