May 19, 2007

Today was one of those days where I am, quite painfully, prompted to remember life is not all about me. I was reminded that when I say, “Lord,I’ll do whatever you put in front of me” He’ll actually take me seriously. Imagine.

Today I remembered it is entirely possible to continue to smile and function when your brain feels like smushed cotton and nasal hair clippings. Apparently intelligence is highly over-rated and not entirely necessary.

Today I learned I could do FOUR services in a 24 hour period and not fall apart, lose my voice or suck completely.

Today I remembered a time, not so long ago, when no matter how hard I asked G-d, He said “no” to me. Even when I begged Him to put me to “work”. It was my time to be still.

Today I struggled with a desire for affirmation which astounded me with both it’s shallowness and arrogance.

Today I realized if I want it that bad, I should walk away from it.

Today I obsessed about every detail and scrutinized every motivation.

Then I realized I am really looking forward to tomorrow.