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2010, I’m seriously not impressed.

April 19, 2010
  • My brother Matt’s Multiple Sclerosis is… Not improving… Critical decisions.  He’s 30.  I’ve talked about this before.
  • Leny got REALLY sick.  Then he passed away.
  • I went to MO for 5 days.  Alone.  I don’t leave my family.  This was a huge stretch for me.
  • My son and my husband are dyslexic.  How do I get my brain around this?  Learning curve.  Huge.
  • My brother Joel comes home from the state mental hospital to live with my somewhat fragile and elderly parents.  He’s  47 going on 12 right now.
  • My brother’s FIL is losing his battle with advanced AIDS.   Rene…  I’ve written about him before.
  • Joel’s wife gets a freak brain infection and passes away.   That was last week.
  • Saturday Aunt Trudy passed away.
  • My dad is slowly slipping… I don’t know how else to say it.  But he is even beginning to acknowledge it.  Quick and clever, learned and eager to know more.  Those are words you could have easily used to describe him.  I am really having a hard time with the change.
  • Broke a tooth.  No dental insurance.  Crowns are NASTY GNARLY expensive.   “Will work for dental care?”   I can see a cardboard sign and a street corner in my future.
  • Friends who are ministry and ministry who thinks they are friends.
  • High Holy Days
  • Homeschool never ends.
  • Spring cleaning.

Does my latest “poem” make more sense now?  I’m walking on a frayed edge.

  • Hi Heidi, wow, what an overwhelming list. Any one of these is enough to knock the wind out of you. Blessings, you are strong, and when you’re not, He is.

  • momma dragon

    alright – step back from the edge……….you will get through this, too.
    realize we are so blessed – even when things are tough.
    one day, one hour, one minute……..
    look for the good,
    your anchor holds and grips the solid rock…….”)

  • You are so right. I was feeling overwhelmed and feeling silly for being so overwhelmed and then I started thinking about all that has transpired since CHRISTMAS!!! and suddenly I didn’t feel so silly. 🙂

    Love you.

  • Serena

    Quite a few years ago I was telling my Redeemer that I wanted to know Him and the power of His resurrection. He responded “the fellowship of my sufferings and being conformed to my death go with that. Do you still want it?” I said “yes.” My whole life fell apart. I would not change it. I got to know Him in a way that I did not and nothing has seemed quite as hard since, though there are times I probably would not say that while in the midst of a storm. Looking back, though, I can see how He has got me faithfully through each and every trial and I know He will any future trials. We can only get through one day at a time, one step at a time.

    Heb 13:5-6 (only quoting part as it is what is not translated with its force in most translations) is an encouragement to me – “I will not, I will not cease to sustain and uphold you. I will not, I will not, I will not let you down.” You can look it up to see the rest of it. Five “I will nots.” Five is the number of grace. His grace is there and never, ever leaves us. NOTHING can separate us from His love.

    You are walking through some intense storm. The One who gives shalom in the storm is with you. You are in the palm of His hand.

    Love and shalom,
    Serena

  • When we love others it places a great demand on the human heart. Fortunately for us the Divine Heart understands and cares for our grief. Times like this make us more in tune with the Father if we share in others suffering and hold the feelings we experience out to the Great Physician for His tender touch.

  • I think you are living my life again. Do you have any idea how many of the same things are going on in my circle of family and friends? Spooky!