October 11, 2006

Who wants to howl at the moon with me?

I feel stifled. Obligations. Responsibilities. Ministries. People.

I’m not really a people person. But I play one on TV. And sometimes in real life.

It’s not that I am insincere, lest anyone reading this think that my life is a sham. The only part of my life that is a sham is the part where I paste a smile over raging PMS and pretend I give a rats rear end about anyone else. But that only happens every other month.

So, there you have it. In a nutshell.

I want a road trip in someone else’s car, with someone else’s credit card. I want to bury my toes in warm sand. I want to hear phone ringing and not have to pray about whether or not I should answer it. I want to see my boys play until they are so tired they can’t stand up and laugh until I can’t breathe. I want to wander through a street fair and make fun of street performers with my husband.

But I’d settle for a movie and dinner with that tall, dark, handsome, brilliant, eloquent, thoughtful guy who rubs my feet.

Somehow, just some quiet time with him makes all the restlessness go away and my heart slows down. My brain unwinds and I have space again. Space to think and to live. Space to breathe.

And breath is best used for howling! 🙂