Some quotes that amuse me. Now laugh, damnit, laugh!
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, “Have you got anything I’d like?” Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, “Extra medium.”
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.