Ok, I know that sounds ridiculous. I don’t make sense to MYSELF half the time.
I think this is why I like music and computers. It’s a keyboard with a logical progression of sound. Computers. 0101001011. Isn’t that just pretty? Clean, clear. Evenly distributed. Ahhh!! the possibilities!! All the music in the world masquerades within 88 black and white keys. All the knowledge of mankind hidden in the crevices of that there World Wide Web.
I crave order. I truly do. I like lists and boxes with lids. Labeled shelves and itemized check book registers. Excel is a gift to me from G-d himself. I am 50% certain of that.
So why can’t people be more like that?
You say “hi”, Isay “hi”.
You say “How are you?”
I say, “I’ve had the day from hell! I want to tie my children up with duct tape and send them to boarding school in the Alps. I found piles of dirty underwear on the floor in the bathroom again and I swear if I have to clean up another pile of dog shit/cat puke on the carpet I will have a nervous breakdown!”
Then we sit down with paper, pens and graph paper and find a solution for the disaster. We make lists and propose goals. We label and file them in color coordinated file folders and laminate index cards with “To Do” lists for every day from here to eternity.
Yes, that would make sense to me. Order from chaos. It could be order from Walmart for all I care right now. I just want some freakin’ order!!!!
Which is an obvious lie. Because if I really wanted order? I get off my ass and clean the kitchen instead of playing Spider Solitaire until my eyeballs fall out.