October 19, 2006
My brain hurts & other nonsense.

Why can’t everyone be like me?

Ok, I know that sounds ridiculous. I don’t make sense to MYSELF half the time.

I think this is why I like music and computers. It’s a keyboard with a logical progression of sound. Computers. 0101001011. Isn’t that just pretty? Clean, clear. Evenly distributed. Ahhh!! the possibilities!! All the music in the world masquerades within 88 black and white keys. All the knowledge of mankind hidden in the crevices of that there World Wide Web.

I crave order. I truly do. I like lists and boxes with lids. Labeled shelves and itemized check book registers. Excel is a gift to me from G-d himself. I am 50% certain of that.

So why can’t people be more like that?

You say “hi”, Isay “hi”.

You say “How are you?”

I say, “I’ve had the day from hell! I want to tie my children up with duct tape and send them to boarding school in the Alps. I found piles of dirty underwear on the floor in the bathroom again and I swear if I have to clean up another pile of dog shit/cat puke on the carpet I will have a nervous breakdown!”

Then we sit down with paper, pens and graph paper and find a solution for the disaster. We make lists and propose goals. We label and file them in color coordinated file folders and laminate index cards with “To Do” lists for every day from here to eternity.

Yes, that would make sense to me. Order from chaos. It could be order from Walmart for all I care right now. I just want some freakin’ order!!!!

Which is an obvious lie. Because if I really wanted order? I get off my ass and clean the kitchen instead of playing Spider Solitaire until my eyeballs fall out.

  • Billiam

    As a typical guy, I know where my stuff is amid the clutter. Of course, I am someties exasperated with myself for not being more tidy. Then again, there’s no one else to remind me to pick up after myself. Yet, I still separate white from colors! This PROVES there’s hope for me!!

  • Pablo

    I understand how you feel, and I empathize! I think it’s a security thing in the sense that we like to have some control over our environment, and to when people (especially kids!) mess things up, it makes us realize how little control we actually have.

  • You want fries with that?

    You want order and you have a husband and two kids (boys?). Lady, that’s a recipe for chaos not order!

  • Birdie

    I, too, crave order. Sometimes I even get it! This is one of the areas where it really helps to be a bit hyper-active. It is a lot easier to get up and get things done when you cannot make yourself sit still anyway!

  • Triton

    Like Billiam, I also have a sense of “order among chaos”. Everything looks utterly unorganized, but I know where anything is if I need it.

  • CrazyJo

    The perfectionist in me craves order, but the lazy-ass in me usually beats the perfectionist’s butt without lifting a finger. I’m so talented. 😉