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October 22, 2006

The house has been quiet all day. All day. Only one phone call. Do you have any idea how strange/wonderful/weird that is? Probably not. But it is.

We cleaned the house. I disinfected my shower. I scrubbed and bleached and vacuumed in crevices.

A truly glorious day. I indulged my OCD compulsions. Ahhh!!! This type of indulgence is a necessary part of my mental and spiritual wellbeing.

Ok, I’m only kidding. Mostly.

I’ve been thinking about commitment a lot lately. It’s an easy word to say. It’s a bitch bear to live out. Promises, promises. Reality, reality.

I tend to be cynical about, well, just about everything. Sometimes it saves me from being hurt, but mostly it’s a hurdle I have to overcome when I am at a crossroads. It’s funny how we call ourselves “wise” when we are simply being insecure and frightened. We call “red flags” and “foul” when G-d is giving us insight and discernment so we can both pray with and stand for. The weakness of ourselves and others is where we find unity. Not the compilation of our strengths. That comes later. Much later. Shortly after we realize that our strengths are G-d’s gift and our weakness is the catalyst by which we are able to recognize our need.

Today I had an “apostrophe”. (that’s Peter Pan for epiphany). I find the all-together crowd tiresome, tedious and distasteful. I love the reality. You know, the warm gooey center of vulnerability and weakness? That inspires my fidelity and even a teensy bit of compassion. I’m not naturally gifted in that department, but the bit which I do possess makes a red carpet appearance in the face of the raw and the unguarded.

So, there you have it.

One more layer in the onion that is Heidi. You can fry that up, dip it in ranch and enjoy!

Or not.

  • Knightshadow

    Mmmmm, Ogres are like onions . . . Heidi is like onions? Does that mean Heidi is like Ogres? Hehehe.

    Good blog.

  • heidi

    Why, thank you sir. I only sound like an ogre given the proper digestive chemical reaction.

    Of the north variety!!!!

    Seriously!!!

  • Roci

    …I scrubbed and bleached and vacuumed in crevices.

    That is what the shower if FOR.

  • MikeT

    You’re much more productive than I am on the cleaning. My apartment gets cleaned… maybe… once a month 😀

  • Pablo

    Your honesty is inspiring!
    Now how much do you charge per hour to clean other people’s homes..?

  • heidi

    Roci. HA!!! You are my quality control advisor. I avoid using anything electronic in the shower.

    *stop smirking*

    And Pablo, considering how much it takes to get me to clean MY house? You can’t afford me.

  • CrazyJo

    I’m impressed with your cleaning attack. Crevices – wow.

    I worked on laundry and dishes when I finally got around to working on anything today, plus collecting trash from various locations (due to my husband’s cold it appears that used tissues are breeding in corners), but it didn’t make much of a dent. Sigh. Tomorrow is another day.

  • Serena

    Well, at 51 I’m not together yet, though there are areas that I’ve improved. I find there are always more to improve in. Being married to Rick has greatly improved my housekeeping. He is a cleany, but he helps and that makes a big difference. He doesn’t criticize my messy tendencies and that is a good motivator to keep things how he likes them.

    Hey, I love onions!

    Love and shalom,
    Serena

  • Serena

    Well, at 51 I’m not together yet, though there are areas that I’ve improved. I find there are always more to improve in. Being married to Rick has greatly improved my housekeeping. He is a cleany, but he helps and that makes a big difference. He doesn’t criticize my messy tendencies and that is a good motivator to keep things how he likes them.

    Hey, I love onions!

    Love and shalom,
    Serena

  • Birdie

    Good for you, Heidi.

    Right now, I am actively avoiding cleaning that strange space we call our front coat closet. Everything that comes near that closet seems to end up inside there. I think that closet might be evil. 😮

  • Birdie

    Good for you, Heidi.

    Right now, I am actively avoiding cleaning that strange space we call our front coat closet. Everything that comes near that closet seems to end up inside there. I think that closet might be evil. 😮