A Reason To Justify Game

April 30, 2011

I am the first to admit that I don’t think like any of my friends.  I gravitate toward international news sites, prophecy and the etymology of words over royal weddings, E-News and the latest trends in chunky jewelry worn by anorexic starlets.

I was 35 before I realized that a “follow up” phone call after a difficult conversation is not only a good idea but is de riqueur in the minds of most women.  I can’t imagine how many  friends suffered in silence at the complete absence of social nicety as they worked through their relationship with me.

But just the other night I realized a fatal flaw in my friendships.

I’m too nice.

I’m too honest.

I’m too straightforward in both my speech and my actions.

I’m reliable, dependable and trustworthy.

And it can no longer be tolerated.

In order to win the respect and admiration of my friends I must treat them like shit.

I must disregard their feelings and screen their phone calls, emails and Facebook status updates.Flatter their friends in front of them and mock their new hairstyles and laugh at their children. Perhaps even ridicule their husbands and routinely refuse most invitations, just to keep them guessing.

Then and only then will I be the cool girl that everyone wants to be friends with.


  • Doom

    I am not sure if you are teasing or if you have a bad case of manitis (also know as mandog syndrome, depending on your medical manual). Well, except for the jewelry. We like rose quartz stuff. :p

    As for that other stuff, I must plead guilty. I must also plead ignorance half the time or more. If I am asked a question, I will answer it. Then I thought the conversation was over? Good, bad, neutral, if she is there tomorrow, and that continues for a while, that is love, isn’t it? Seriously, I am not teasing or such.

    I am still not sure if you were poking fun or lamenting your culpability to being a “gamer” yourself. (Now, I know of game, but have never played it or studied it, other than through natural actions and reactions. Game was developed for those who don’t… get on naturally with women or something.) But it looks like that is what you are discussing in any case.

  • Doom

    I got that a bit backward, I meant it seems like you are suggesting you pick up “game”. Starting out with manly like interests confused my half asleep fingers and brain.

  • *chuckles* I’m pretty sure the post was tongue-in-cheek, if that helps, Doom. 😉

  • Doom,

    I don’t succumb to “manitis”. I like men. They are far more interesting friends and companions than most women I am frequently in contact with and with whom I interact.

    It is, however, unwise to cultivate the relationships of men outside the context of their wives or my husband and I find myself then in the throes of “girlish” silliness most of the time.

    I truly have more “man-like” interests. I don’t subscribe to much frilly although I’m not afraid to do what I can to beautify this earthly tent and I tend to do so in a way that is more black eyeliner than Victorian lace. I am drawn to intense conversations with the occasional conflict in much the same degree that most women I know are repulsed by it. I’m not afraid of those who speak their mind I am cautious around those who don’t.

    And I am completely comfortable with disagreeing with you or you disagreeing with me.

    I am not compatible with most women I know and it is the odd female who sticks around long enough to find out if I’m squishy on the inside or just a conglomeration of opinions and absolutes.

    This post was partially in jest and partially out of frustration as I watched a person I consider to be a good friend wax long and eloquent on how much she admires a mutual acquaintance who has treated her, her children and her spouse badly. For more than a few years. Granted, this person has excellent qualities that I can easily see. I recognize and concede that point. My frustration has been, as on onlooker and sometimes participant, I have witnessed how their relationship has been more struggle than success with an almost insatiable desire on the part of the one friend to gain the affirmation and attention of the other with no regard to the friends who are constant and consistent. The friends who have never given them room for suspicion or unkindness.

    Women are strange critters indeed.

  • “Women are strange critters indeed.”

    Ah truer words…