Is that a match made in heaven or hell?
That’s my Mr. (the Artisan) and me (the Rational) and our sons (the Idealists)…
According to the most recent Meyers Briggs personality test, that’s where we stand.
If you think you haven’t met many people who think, relate, communicate as I do, feel validated. According to this test, statistically, I fall into the 1% of women who test with the INTJ personality type. Go me.
At least now I understand why I don’t have many “friends” and my personal inclination to hyper-analyze all of life’s mysteries and mundane to neatly compartmentalize it.
It also explains why I’m no good at “feelings”.
Which leads me to my title.
I’m heavy on the Thinking/Judging and my husband is heavy on the Thinking/Perceiving. Ergo, I need resolution to be absolute and he takes decision making as a mushy conclusion unless a better one comes along.
Our children, at least at this point of their lives, are HEAVY FEELERS. Which is kind of like heavy breathers but with more genuine passion. I don’t care about feelings. They change, they are non-quantifiable and unreliable. Feelings can neither change nor define my situation unless I give myself freedom to abandon reasonable responses to available data.
Yes, my children do call me the “Vulcan”. Seriously.
Now, I don’t put a lot of stock in personality tests. I believe character trumps inclination every time. I may be highly introverted in my preference while my responsibilities require a great deal of interaction with people.
I may not personally find feelings viable measures of a situation but I will allow you the freedom to believe differently. And I won’t mock you for crying. I will just back away slowly, avoiding eye contact while planning my escape route.
So, how do I properly nurture and care for my “feeling” children?
I suppose that’s how I get to be stretched most. Argh.
There’s a reason that God gave me the children He did and a reason He gave me to them. I refine them, they refine me.
One of my boys makes decisions like his father, the other like me. Neither care a whit about intuition and ALL of the men in my home are heavy Extroverts. None of them are highly motivated to maintain order nor do they desire to compartmentalize. All are fascinated by mystery and believe mercy triumphs over justice.
In short, they are the opposite of me in almost every way. So much for nature v. nurture.
I’m not writing this to prove a conclusion. Merely to point out that I do, indeed, have my work cut out for me. I don’t want to raise children who look like me but to release onto the world strong individuals who look, well, just like themselves. And the best version themselves that I can promote, encourage or inspire.
Actually, that’s my desire for anyone with whom I have the opportunity to interact and encourage.
And that, my friends, is the word for the day.