Sublimly Ridiculous

Animal Safety

October 30, 2009

Vox Day has been enjoying the irony that is the death of Ms. Taylor Mitchell as she hiked in the Ontario wilderness.   This has led him to make this statement in the comments.

The number one rule of not becoming prey is not acting like prey. If you’re being stalked, confront. If you’re being looked over, meet their eyes and do not look down. Bare your teeth if you must; it’s a very primal and effective form of communication. The thing to remember is that no predator, animal or human, wants to risk getting hurt when there is always easier prey to be found.

Now, of all the blow-hard disguised as city boys giving advice, this rings most true to me.  A Montana girl who used to ride alone in the hills at all hours of the day, any season.   Most of the time I took a dog with me.   Blue before he got too old,  Sargeant before he went nuts and Shadow before he got hit by a car…

Wait… That sounds like a really bad track record.   FYI, not all my fault.

The point is this.   I was the top of the food chain there.  Every time.  And I knew it.   The neighbor dog comes at me?

I dig my heels in and run up at him.   1200lbs of sweaty horse tend to frighten dogs away and make them behave. Especially when the person on top is yelling at them to “go home”.

On the ground?  I’m not much different.   Your dog gets pissy with me?    Even on the street?  I will stare him down or tell him to knock it off.   Never. Ever. Ever. Run. From. Pissed. Dog.

You just became meals on wheels.

But out in the woods, in the hills or in the wilds?

Some tiny little thing on foot?

Seriously?

Darwin.  Dar.Win.

What I find remarkable is that a) she was close enough to other people that they heard her screams b) the police where there soon enough to shoot one of the furry nibblers.

So.  That kinda puts a damper on the assumption that she was idiotically walking miles away from sight and the normally sensitive and delicate psyche of the misunderstood carnivore was overwhelmed by her proximity and their desire for some tender loin.

I wonder if we really do taste like chicken?  Or pork.   I have heard people taste like pork.   Which would explain parts of the kosher thing.

Digressing.

Here’s a thought… And since no one can refute it, I get to throw it out to the wilds of teh interwebs.

What if she saw the coyotes,  and in typical hippie delight fashion,  tried to “friend” them?    Did she hold out the remains of her sandwich,  with her hand all smelling like TVP and garlic and beckon them closer?  Hoping, perhaps, for a “Mutual of Omaha” moment as she listened to the call of the wild?

As they crept closer, did she squat down to their level becoming equal or less threatening?   So these poor (albeit salivating) carnivores could get close and  no longer fear her?

Right before they tried to tag team her and eat her alive…

Complete and utter speculation and an abhorrent waste of a talented young life.

But there’s a lesson here to be learned, I think.

If you don’t want to look like lunch to the sharks?

Don’t act like a smorgasboard.

  • I’d say there’s a very good chance your theory is correct. If she had held out food to them, and they snatched it out of her hand and bit her in the process, the taste of blood and her subsequent attempt at flight would have marked her as prey to be brought down.

    I’m hardly an expert in the behavior of predatory animals though.

  • I’d say there’s a very good chance your theory is correct. If she had held out food to them, and they snatched it out of her hand and bit her in the process, the taste of blood and her subsequent attempt at flight would have marked her as prey to be brought down.

    I’m hardly an expert in the behavior of predatory animals though.

  • I don’t know, you watch blog comments long enough, predatory animalistic behavior becomes readily apparent to most. 😉

  • I don’t know, you watch blog comments long enough, predatory animalistic behavior becomes readily apparent to most. 😉

  • AJW308

    I hunted coyotes, once. Had a friend who’s dog was killed in his back yard and we figured we’d get even.

    3 guys, 12 gauges, and a predator tape, we positioned ourselves at the end of the swamp they lived in and played the tape of a rabbit being tortured to death. Not the make-it-wear-a-pair-of-panties type of torture that get our liberal’s panties in a wad, but the “We’ve captured an American pilot” type of torture where after a few days, you get to see bones.

    The tape ended and we waited. It was feeding time for them, and they had to be coming. The sun set and we 3 were quiet as tombs.

    We saw and heard nothing as we watched the swamp and the killing zone we had laid out.

    We were sitting in the snow which amplified the light, but it was a slender moon, and when it got to dark to see anything, we threw in the towel.

    As we got up, the pack that was skulking our position realized that they weren’t the top of the food chain in the vicininty and took off, yodeling warnings and curses in their goblinesque tongue.

    They are smart and sneaky little opponents. She probably didn’t know they were stalking her till they were upon her.

  • AJW308

    I hunted coyotes, once. Had a friend who’s dog was killed in his back yard and we figured we’d get even.

    3 guys, 12 gauges, and a predator tape, we positioned ourselves at the end of the swamp they lived in and played the tape of a rabbit being tortured to death. Not the make-it-wear-a-pair-of-panties type of torture that get our liberal’s panties in a wad, but the “We’ve captured an American pilot” type of torture where after a few days, you get to see bones.

    The tape ended and we waited. It was feeding time for them, and they had to be coming. The sun set and we 3 were quiet as tombs.

    We saw and heard nothing as we watched the swamp and the killing zone we had laid out.

    We were sitting in the snow which amplified the light, but it was a slender moon, and when it got to dark to see anything, we threw in the towel.

    As we got up, the pack that was skulking our position realized that they weren’t the top of the food chain in the vicininty and took off, yodeling warnings and curses in their goblinesque tongue.

    They are smart and sneaky little opponents. She probably didn’t know they were stalking her till they were upon her.

  • Giraffe

    I have killed a few coyotes. I can’t imagine them attacking anyone here, unless rabid. That is because they are not the top of the food chain (here) and they know it. A coyote seen is shot at if the person seeing it is able to. Yet, we still have plenty of coyotes. They are nearly impossible to get rid of, you can kill 70% of them and they will reproduce enough to stay even.

    They are very smart, and rarely seen.

    They do attack people where the people are not seen as a threat. Why not, they eat everything else.

  • Giraffe

    I have killed a few coyotes. I can’t imagine them attacking anyone here, unless rabid. That is because they are not the top of the food chain (here) and they know it. A coyote seen is shot at if the person seeing it is able to. Yet, we still have plenty of coyotes. They are nearly impossible to get rid of, you can kill 70% of them and they will reproduce enough to stay even.

    They are very smart, and rarely seen.

    They do attack people where the people are not seen as a threat. Why not, they eat everything else.

  • Men and logic. You blew my theory out of the water… Maybe she smeared herself with the sandwich and laid down to take a nap?

  • Men and logic. You blew my theory out of the water… Maybe she smeared herself with the sandwich and laid down to take a nap?

  • Coyotes are disturbing to me, because they are terribly canny. And I have a lot of them around me down here in this remote valley.

  • Coyotes are disturbing to me, because they are terribly canny. And I have a lot of them around me down here in this remote valley.