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Cartoon Superhero Life Lessons

March 28, 2010

* As crazy as this sounds, you should trust a man wearing underpants over his colored tights which are tucked into his mid-calf height, low-heel go-go boots while wearing a cape.

* Safety is in the details. Don’t trust this man if he’s wearing eyeliner. That means he’s a bad guy.

* If you are a woman superhero your one-piece super suit will never ride up, your legs will never need shaving, your hair will be down to your waist and you will be able to run all day in stiletto thigh high boots without getting tired.

* Be careful in chemical plants. Falling into a vat of toxic waste can, at times, make you have Extremely Awesome Powers. Or it can kill you. It depends which part of the plot to which you are most important.

* Work on those ninja star throwing skills. You never know when you might need to pin someone to the wall by their hair so you can give them a lecture on better life choices.

* Brooding, moody and acting like you are from another planet can be forgiven IF you can also read minds and morph into freaky shapes. Oh, and are actually FROM another planet? Otherwise? Not cool.

* Even the Joker didn’t get courtesy laughs without intimidation. I’m not sure what life lesson this is, it just seems somehow important to me today.

* I should believe that all leather suits are comfortable. And only slightly more so than Pleather. Because, apparently, Superhero’s will never stand in a pool of their own sweat as it puddles in the seams and creates chafing in awkward places.

* Having a super power doesn’t make you better than the rest but it will get you better toys, gadgetry and, sometimes, trips to parallel universes. This is cool. But the payoff is that you feel good about helping people. While you blow up their towns, homes and create planet threatening crisis. Why does that sound SO familiar????

* All alien technology will be figured out in less than 12 seconds while under the pressure of impending, intergalactic catastrophe. See?? Shirking responsibilities til the last minute is the MARK of a superhero.

That’s all.

  • Joelle

    I KNEW I was a superhero – I’m shirking schoolwork right now! lol

  • Brooding, moody and acting like you are from another planet, huh? I think I know a lot of women who are superheroes at least once every month. o_O

  • Shelia

    This was a perfect Easter Morning conversation starter….thank you.

  • I like this. And it reminds me of my post I should put up at the new blog.