Funny

CL Missed Connections… Oh crap…

February 21, 2009

I believe I’ve mentioned in the past that I like to read personal ads and such.  It amuses me.  Don’t judge me.  This is a really good example of what keeps me coming back.

To the woman that crapped in my car. – m4w – 41 (Bend)


Date: 2009-02-20, 9:24PM PST

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it
could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever
been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of
Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was
a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked
forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just
happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t
feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that
said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny,
not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I
did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my
uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of
the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they
call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your
pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other
hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a
heated leather seat…

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more
than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in
fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call…

P.S. – If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.  Touché

  • The last line is the best!

  • The last line is the best!

  • By the way, I just stole it from you. Giving you full credit, of course!

  • By the way, I just stole it from you. Giving you full credit, of course!

  • Pingback: All Atwitter » Oops()

  • Pingback: All Atwitter » Oops()

  • Damn, that’s about the funniest thing I’ve read in many a day. 🙂

    My workmates were looking at me strangely, I’m cracking up so hard. Until I showed them, and now they’re all cracking up as well.

  • Damn, that’s about the funniest thing I’ve read in many a day. 🙂

    My workmates were looking at me strangely, I’m cracking up so hard. Until I showed them, and now they’re all cracking up as well.

  • I’m taking that to my site as well. I’ll give you credit. In fact, maybe I’ll say it was you?

    Heidi, when you get a second go watch a new video I posted the other day. http://www.rickdancer.com
    Silent Treatment.

  • I’m taking that to my site as well. I’ll give you credit. In fact, maybe I’ll say it was you?

    Heidi, when you get a second go watch a new video I posted the other day. http://www.rickdancer.com
    Silent Treatment.

  • Pablo

    Wow, now THAT is love!

  • Pablo

    Wow, now THAT is love!

  • Assuming that ad is sincere, that woman should marry that guy pronto. She’s found a man who will literally tolerate her crap.

  • I think the guy should run for his life. If she’s doing that now just think what she’ll do when she’s comfortable. OOOOHhhhhhhh Yuck. Never Fart on the first date.