I cringe sometimes when I write on here. Often I put up things that are “not pretty”. Why? I believe it gives me credibility as a Genuine Human Being. If all I wrote were the good, grand and glorious without the comparison of those days which suck your will to live, it would be disingenuous and well, to be frank, nauseating. Those of us who live honestly understand we will have times of joy and times of pain. To everything there is a season, eh?
Life is pain, princess… How could we appreciate the times we are carried if we never allow ourselves to experience the pain when we have walked away from the Arms which keep us safe? Denying the pain we cause ourselves and other’s is not the way to mature beyond it.
As the lines between my Real Life and my Blog Life have blurred I become more than a little uncomfortable when I share some of the memories, moments and life experiences that show the grime under the sparkly smile. Why do I still do it? Primarily because I want to. Secondarily because I truly hope to encourage anyone who pays attention. I write the dark, G-d saves the day. I write the good, G-d gets the glory.
For the record, and I hope my friends will attest to this, I am rarely dark and moody. I am, usually, a total goof ball with a few serious moments sprinkled in.
I know this is some sort of compensation for showing what’s under the shell and trying to come to terms with over exposure.
Maybe I’m not as much of an exhibitionist as I think I am.