So, it’s late. Everyone else is in bed and I’m toodling around doing Things of Very Little Importance. Laundry must be folded, there is a walnut date torte in the oven for tomorrow’s brunch and well, I’m muddling little thoughts about my brain.
There’s been a Mother’s Day thought going around FaceBook lately and it’s a variation on this:
Before you were conceived, I wanted you.
Before you were born I loved you. When you were born I saw your face and
knew I was in love. Before you were an hour old, I knew I would die for
you. To this day, I will. With Mother’s Day approaching repost this if
you have children you love more than life.
Which sounds alarmingly close to this:
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 (NASB)
Which is either disturbing or comforting, maudlin beyond all that is reasonable or heartbreakingly wonderful.
Of course, I can’t help but think about the mom this year who sent her adopted son back to Russia, the countless abortions and the rampant issues of neglect and abuse we see every day. I wonder what those mom’s do on Mother’s Day. I have a friend from high school that had an abortion at 18. She’d been stupid. Hooked up, lost her savings and her innocence to a con. I wonder what Mother’s Day is like for her…. She’s never married and never had kids. Just a 10 year old Pomeranian. Maybe she’s totally happy and at peace with it all. I have no idea. But I wonder.
So here are my Real Mother’s Day thoughts.
Before you were the cause of heartburn so bad you could smell smoke from Tennessee I dreamed about you. Before I was so ill that standing up would cause projectile vomiting I whispered your name. Before you terrified me by not being born “on time” and then being in distress I prayed for you.
The first time your toothless grin wrinkled up and the most piercing noise I’d ever imagined shot from your red little face I imagined what it would be like to actually talk… Now when you won’t shut up I try really hard to remember wondering what your brain would produce.
Many times when I trip over your Lego’s and limp for 15 minutes I am reminded that this doesn’t last forever and that I should hold onto every day. Even when it’s hard. And painful.
Every moment of every day has been irrevocably changed by the gift I have been given in two amazing, obnoxious and very normal boys. They are, without a doubt, the most exquisite example of G-d’s undeserved favor in my life. They love me, they hug me, they hold my hand in public (at 10 and 12). They still require kisses at night and snuggles on the couch. They enjoy bringing me weeds and daisies, mudballs and strange bugs. They pray for me. They accept my apologies and don’t hold grudges. They are articulate, intelligent, hilarious and, with their dad, the most interesting people I have ever met.
I am blessed. Beyond words. I don’t need a special day. I have no need for gifts or flowers. They make me feel like I’m on top of the world every day.
When my 10 year old grabs me, kisses me and says, “You’re the best mom in the world!” as he does almost every day it’s often hard to resist the urge to be cynical and tell him he should get out more… Someday they’ll see me as a moron desperately in need of education. I hope I’ll have the grace for that day too. But for now?
Best mom evar!!!!