Sublimly Ridiculous

I’m Game For A Few Thoughts

July 7, 2010

Game…

An interesting mix of  scientific observations mingled liberally with opinions and comparisons of, ahem, things best left covered.

I’ve been watching the shenanigans over at Vox’s place for awhile and, being a girl,  really didn’t want to get into it.  The boys are faster and stronger and quicker and smarter and, well, I don’t care enough to engage in the debate. Especially when they’ll hand me my buns on a platter faster than you can say “Bane was right!”

Arielle posted some thought provoking insights that drew me in a bit but mostly from the perspective of how does a righteous WOMAN respond to a man who believes his best method of interaction is the list of rules as espoused by the infamous Roissy.

So… In lieu of an actual thought process regarding this, I will throw out an amusing anecdote.  Shortly there after I will retire to the kitchen, put my head covering back on and refrain from intelligent discourse to the best of my ability unless of course it pertains to women or my children.    That way I can’t be accused of trying to jump into the big boy end of the pool.

So…#2.

4th of July.  Local baseball game.  College age boys.  B.O.R.I.N.G.  I don’t know anyone.   My son, who is 10 but looks older because he’s stinkin’ tall and dresses cool (his fault, not mine) is sitting next to me doing dorky 10 year old boy things.   He is oblivious to the young girls in front of him.  Little blond girls wearing patriotic shirts, hair ribbons, sparkly lip gloss and with bright, glittery stars painted on their cheeks, you can see they are Feeling It.   And doing their best to Work It.

Except he couldn’t care less.  Doesn’t even notice.

After an hour of being ignored despite all of their cute little half-turns and attempts at coyly drawing him into conversation they became noticeably pissy.

Which amused my husband and myself to no end.    They were definitely top tier girls, for their age, and obviously not used to being ignored.   Of course we said nothing to our son but I still found it amusing that they couldn’t stop trying to get him to notice them.  Apparantly, at least according to Roissy’s rules where he states it is best to “ignore the hot chick” to get her attention, my boy’s got “Game”.

Now.  I had a second thought… And it was……

Oh.

I’m not kidding when I tell you I don’t eat pork, shellfish or any of the related byproducts.  What this has to do with Game will become obvious.  Stay patient.

I can watch cooking shows where they tell me the best possible ways to cook bacon, pork loin, chops, ham… Pickle pigs feet.   These earnest individuals are working diligently to show me all the pertinent information.  You could tell me, in detail, all the steps necessary to produce the most incredible lobster bisque you could imagine.

All good information.  All important to people interested in those products.

With no bearing whatsoever on my life.

Which is kinda what I think about Game.

I don’t care if my sons ever know how to attract or keep the attention of the girls who would want to be pursued in the manner indicated by Roissy.   I would like them to have enough discernment and self-respect to refrain from playing “games” with any of their acquaintances and instead become known as men who can be relied upon to seek and speak truth.

My husband doesn’t have to play games with me or work to get my attention.  My Mr. tells me what he wants and gives me the freedom to choose to come along for the ride or stay behind.   I’ve found that going along with him provides, by far, the most interesting and rewarding life I could have ever imagined.

But he doesn’t get pissy or vindictive if I make choices that are different from his.   He does help me do a cost and benefit analysis if needed sometimes though.

And, because he’s not worrying about proving anything or wondering if he’s good enough? He’s ok if I have a headache sometimes too.

  • Hedi,

    I mean no offense to you at all. This post and one you did a couple of days ago demonstrate that even you fall victim to “game”. As Roissy preaches it, “game” is an immoral method to get laid by the hottest females of your choosing. As a point in fact “game” is just observations of what gets the girls going in the direction that leads to male satisfaction. It can be used, and as Roissey preaches it, immorally, or it can just be accepted as a fact of life.

    Despite everything they say, females want males. The more manly a guy acts the more attractive he will be to the ladies. The less desperate he is to find a girl the more the girls think he has something better. The more mysterious the man, the more the girls want to get him to open up. None of this is necessarily a moral issue.

    Go back and reread your last post bout your own husband. Notice all the things you like about him. Not once did you list: reaches emotional catharsis, emotes profusely, shares feelings daily, nits well, good at house work, or whimpers often. Everything you did list was manly stuff. When you were single and looking to get married you didn’t go for the metrosexual male. You seem to have wanted a manly man.

    That’s all game is. Being a man and letting women know your not apologetic about it. Doing that has the side benefit of producing a state in women known as “hot pants”. From a man’s POV, “hot pants” is a condition to be encouraged as often as possible.

    For a horn dog it leads to running up the score. For the married man and his wife, it leads to marital satisfaction. For the single guy looking for a wife it can lead to more options to chose from. The morality is dependent on the goal.

  • Giraffe

    That’s well said.

    I was looking at as an interesting window into the psychology (psychosis?) of women. Lets face it. Y’all don’t make sense.

  • No they don’t.

    But who cares?

    They can be pretty to look at and smell good when they want.

  • See, Res, that’s where I suppose I differ from the normal female. I have never experienced the “want to get married/catch a man” fever. Ever. I was genuinely surprised that my husband was interested in me. We dated, if you can call it that, wihile I lived in Oregon and he in California. Lots of phone calls, lots of faxes (pre-email) and a lot of letters.

    We eventually knew that we wanted to spend our lives together. This was concept he figured out long before I did. I haven’t ever had a “hope chest” of any kind nor did I have a dream wedding planned. In fact, I honestly never thought I’d find someone who would want to marry me. I wasn’t the world’s most pleasant person.

    I didn’t look for a husband. I was interested in finding a quality people to be friends with. When I could be bothered to pay attention to the fact that there were other people in the room.

    It wasn’t until much, much later in our relationship that I was able to quantify much of what made him different from the other men I had known.

    My husband wasn’t interested in playing a game. He had a goal in mind of finding a suitable mate, he was almost 30 and never married although he had dated plenty of nice girls. He believed I fit the bill, whatever.

    There are aspects to our marriage which I will not discuss as that would be inappropriate. We have struggled. Some of who my husband is today he acknowledges is because I refused to allow him to passively sit by. I demanded that he make decisions, step up to the plate and “be the man”. There are decisions I refuse to make. Absolutely refuse.

    It is in a woman’s nature (as per Genesis) to want to take over the leadership role. It is in man’s sin nature to let her or to lord over her.

    Neither of which will get you what you want.

    There are elements to Game which I find less reprehensible than others. I’m not stupid. Somethings just work.

    It’s the quantification for personal gratification which seems to belittle the very essence of what it means to love someone.

    So while there may be bits which are true, it’s the bitter pill under the sugar which I find so ugly I’d rather find another methodology for interpersonal relationships to follow.

  • Giraffe

    Res said it well too.

    I guess I have to agree with him. Game, as used by Roissy, is an abomination. That doesn’t mean a man can’t look at why it works and understand that acting submissive to a woman to please her is counterproductive.

    Men in today’s culture of divorce often have poor or nonexistant role models. This isn’t just a problem for non-Christians.

    As res said, you have to man up, even when she tells you not to.

  • That doesn’t mean a man can’t look at why it works and understand that acting submissive to a woman to please her is counterproductive.

    If only it weren’t so hard to see the way something works and then just be informed instead of inspired to take that newly acquired information and use to to it’s obvious fullest potential, right?

    How sad that there are so few godly men for ya’ll to look up to. Of course, there aren’t very many ladies for us girls to look to either.

    And, btw, I ALWAYS smell good. SO there.

  • Hedi,

    Think about the things that you as a women really like about your man.

    How many of those things are traits that women generally excel at?

    Now think about the things that get you “in the mood” for your husband. Are any of those things typically feminine? I’m guessing not.

    If your husband wanted to get you “in the mood”, I’m guessing that having an Oprah marathon would not lead to the result he was looking for. At its most basic level that is what “game” is. You fell for a man. Your suppose to BTW. Men are designed by God to be a certain way. Including our sexuality. Women are designed to compliment men as well as to have certain needs that can only be met by a man. That is what they are attracted to. Saying so isn’t wrong. Manipulating insecure girls into putting out is wrong. Learning what a women wants and responds to isn’t.

    If we could trust women to tell us in a straight forward (man like) way what it is that will get them going we wouldn’t need to figure it out or learn about “game”. If Sex Began in the Kitchen was true; men would get laid for doing the dishes, but its not. So we figure out what really will separate a women from her panties.

    That’s what men do. Even good christian men. God designed us for sexual relationship with women. Pursuing that isn’t a sin. How a man pursues it can be. Doing stuff that attracts a women and causes her to want to please you sexually is what gets most guys out of bed in the morning.

    I am faithfully married to my wife of 13 years. She is the only women I want to “score” with. I learned early in our marriage that even though she said what she wanted was more help around the house, that wasn’t what actually created the “hot pants” scenario I was longing for. So I do what is needed for the one and then try to help out with the other, not because it gets me what I need but because it makes her life a little nicer.

    What it takes to excel at being a lover isn’t automatically what it takes to be a friend. That works the other way around too.

  • It would appear as though I am having an emotional reaction to your very logical and manly point.

    It would appear as though… But truly, I am frustrated when I am communicating as clearly as I can and yet, still seem to be misunderstood.

    I don’t think you and I are in any form of overall disagreement. Do we quibble about the details? Probably. Absolutely.

    Do I see the necessity for men to find a way to cut through the lying and manipulative bullshit they are being fed from the majority of women around them? Of course. Believers have the Holy Spirit, the Word, the counsel of older and wiser believers, and some of us even have the incredible blessing of involved and believing parents.

    On the flip side, it’s not as though there exists, in overwhelming numbers, men who aren’t doing the very thing they are accusing the women of. Behaving in a most unbecoming manner.

    Most marriages I see around me, in the church or otherwise, are comprised of a submissive male and a dominating female. A lot of people have gotten very comfortable in that role and seem to think it should be required for everyone. It makes me gag.

    But then there’s always the exception to the rule. The woman who actually tells the truth. The man who isn’t afraid to step out and take a risk.

    If we could trust women, a direct quote, although completely taken out of context, sums up Game nicely.

    And if only we women could trust men.

    If only anyone could trust anyone else.

    If only, huh?

    I grew up in another time. In rural Montana, on a farm, in the 80’s & 90’s. My parents had been born in the Depression, my grandparents were Eastern European immigrants. I grew up among men who had no idea that there was any other way to live than by doing what they did already. The Marlboro Man wasn’t fiction. He’s my cousins husband. And his boys follow right along. And he is just like his dad and grandad who, by the way, settled the land they still farm/ranch.

    Res, you know these men. I think I know the region where you live.

    When I moved to Oregon, at 18, I didn’t know that men WEREN’T like that. So I wasn’t consciously seeking some paragon of manliness. The boys around me just didn’t even blip. They were like having girlfriends who shaved.

    And as for women? The women I was most closely exposed to were honest, hardworking, sacrificial and devoted wives/mothers/sisters/aunts who had skin like leather and spoke bluntly to each other.

    I’m not a product of some great epiphany. I was just born late. Or raised in a time capsule.

    As for the “hot pants” issue? It’s not fair for me to compare my experience with those around me. It’s, quite honestly, never been a problem for us.

  • Giraffe

    I’ll try to say this without tripping over something.

    I think Heidi and Arielle are offended by this because it is foreign to them. Heidi grew up where the men were men and the sheep were nervous. (couldn’t resist) Women didn’t burn their bras. Women also didn’t sleep around.

    From a Christian perspective, why do we need game? To get sex? She’s not supposed to refuse him. (or he refuse her). To keep her from leaving him? Divorce is not allowed. The husband is to be the head of the wife (be a man). I agreed with Res, but after thinking about it, we just don’t need it. Or shouldn’t need it. There may be some bits in there that are useful. A good lie is a warping of the truth.

    Now, Hiedi, consider that the average woman is as far off base as those “girlfriends who shaved.” She won’t submit, she will refuse, and she will leave. And that really sucks, but I think it is reality for most people.

    Game wouldn’t work if women didn’t let it work. Game is not rape. Game is happening because of the decline of marriage and morality in general.

    Like it or not, Game is a response to the behavior of women. Maybe that pisses you off, but it is what it is.

    I don’t want to sound like I’m letting men off the hook. I don’t mean to.

  • Hedi,

    We don’t really disagree. You know where I live and so does Giraffe. I live where the sky is blue the grass is green. I’ve worked as a ranch hand (Corwin Springs MT, the old Sargent ranch) as a coal miner and oil field trash. I’ve also been a banker and wore a tie every day. So yes, in one sense we come from the same place and automatically understand the same things and think the world should work the way we were brought up to think that it did.

    But the world doesn’t work that way anymore. Guys play “game” because they never learned how to be real men. I agree with you. “Game” is basically a way of faking characteristics that appeal to women, in order to use those women.

    Here is the deal though: Women have been telling men for the last 50 years that they don’t want manly men, they want girly men. Guys have bought it. In doing so they can’t figure out why doing exactly what a women says she wants, doesn’t get him what he knows he needs. Men see that jerks are getting what they want from even the “nice” girls. So whats a guy to do? If the girls didn’t reward jerks by taking their pants off, nice guys wouldn’t need to play “game”.

    What if a nice christian guy isn’t getting what he needs from his marriage? He can go the Oprah route or he can man up. Same with the single man. Call it a game because for some it is. For some guys its just the way things are.

    A MAN being married to a WOMAN is a wonderful thing. Each of them becomes more a man/women because they are being who they are made to be. In doing that they complete the other person the way God intended. Anything less is faking it. Sometimes you learn by imitating others.

  • Hedi,

    We don’t really disagree. You know where I live and so does Giraffe. I live where the sky is blue the grass is green. I’ve worked as a ranch hand (Corwin Springs MT, the old Sargent ranch) as a coal miner and oil field trash. I’ve also been a banker and wore a tie every day. So yes, in one sense we come from the same place and automatically understand the same things and think the world should work the way we were brought up to think that it did.

    But the world doesn’t work that way anymore. Guys play “game” because they never learned how to be real men. I agree with you. “Game” is basically a way of faking characteristics that appeal to women, in order to use those women.

    Here is the deal though: Women have been telling men for the last 50 years that they don’t want manly men, they want girly men. Guys have bought it. In doing so they can’t figure out why doing exactly what a women says she wants, doesn’t get him what he knows he needs. Men see that jerks are getting what they want from even the “nice” girls. So whats a guy to do? If the girls didn’t reward jerks by taking their pants off, nice guys wouldn’t need to play “game”.

    What if a nice christian guy isn’t getting what he needs from his marriage? He can go the Oprah route or he can man up. Same with the single man. Call it a game because for some it is. For some guys its just the way things are.

    A MAN being married to a WOMAN is a wonderful thing. Each of them becomes more a man/women because they are being who they are made to be. In doing that they complete the other person the way God intended. Anything less is faking it. Sometimes you learn by imitating others.

  • PS

    I like that your blog smells of Cinnamon potpourri.

  • The Bible covers what to do in the event that a non-believing spouse wishes to leave the marriage.

    Also – I find Game offensive, but I’m not offended. Not personally, and not as a woman. My distaste for Game lies solely in the fact that I believe it is an unworthy tool for a son of the Most High.

    I’d be hard-pressed to muster even a mustard-seed’s worth of concern for the modern, feministized woman, so please don’t insult me by thinking I’m doing this out of some kind of misguided feeling of sisterhood.

    You’re assuming because I have taken a stand against Game that I must be siding with sissies. There’s a third way, and I don’t mean JACIII’s way.

  • I think Giraffe nailed it.

    It’s true that the whole concept is so foreign to me that I find it difficult to get my brain around!

    Res, I do think that perhaps I have been naive. That actually hurt to write. 🙂

    I have always struggled to find and keep friendships with women and it is entirely possible that this has largely been due to me being unable to comprehend the mindset of the modern woman. Not being misogynistic but rather pro-feminine as well as having always been rather blunt. Ok… Not rather. Completely. Obviously that has not helped my cause.

    I don’t know. The thought of being examined like a biological agent under a microscope. Of being carefully dissected and analyzed down to the very last particle of my intention for the purpose of “gettin’ some” makes my skin crawl. Maybe that’s what all my vehement protestation comes from?

    Or am I the woman that “doth protest too much”? THAT would be embarrassing!

  • Also – I had never even once thought of Game as any form of rape.

  • Also – I had never even once thought of Game as any form of rape.

  • Um… Me either? Probably should have said so, but, um… Thought that was obvious…

  • Ladies,

    I think your gut reaction to game, comes from the fact that it is used as a way to manipulate women. I agree with you both if that is where you are coming from. Manipulation is evil. On this level we are in total agreement.

    “analyzed down to the very last particle of my intention for the purpose of “gettin’ some”

    That is exactly what Roissey game is.

    NOW if your husband starts keying into things that make you a more willing/exciting/frequent lover has he sinned?

    My answer is no. I think that answer, while not strictly Biblical, isn’t unBiblical either. Being a guy, I bet he knows what buttons he needs to push to get you into the mood. So what is wrong if he learns new ones, or ones that work faster/better?

    Spouses have unique privileges and rights when it comes to their mates.

    Let me put the shoe on the other foot. Men are visually orientated. If its female and attractive to us we LIKE looking at it. Both of you know that. For argument sake: Is it a sin for you to go pick out something lacy, send the kids to grandmas for the weekend, fix your husbands favorite food and great him at the door Friday wearing the “outfit” in hopes of “gettin some”? Is it evil manipulation for you to show him something you know he likes and hope he responds to it?

  • Love the distinction. Thank you, Res, for persevering.

    Knowing what gets someone’s attention, in the right context and with no pretext of disingenuous behavior, is not manipulation.

    Any more than the appropriate blend of flour, salt, sugar, eggs, butter, leavening and chocolate chips makes cookies.

    1+1=2.

    That’s great. And getting your Ph.D in your spouse is a good thing. Study them. Learn their tics, their tricks and their turn offs.

    Again, I really can’t comment fairly on the concept of what my husband needs to do to “get my attention” as our struggles, when they have occurred, haven’t been in that arena…

    As for the weekend scenario… It would only be evil manipulation if I did all those things in order to create a sense of obligation and expectation beyond what my husband was willing/able to do. I

    See, I do all those things on a regular basis. not just on weekends. 😉 And sometimes it all works as planned and sometimes he’s exhausted from a long day at work. Neither of which wastes the effort of the dinner, the outfit or the absence of the little ones. The point is to enjoy each others company, right? I can be patient. He’s worth it.

    I do those things because I like him. Because I love the smile on his face when I treat him like a million bucks. Because I jones for his affirmation like a heroin addict wants sugar. Not because I am trying to push all his buttons to “get some”.

    Ahh…. But then, we take seriously that whole concept that my body is not my own and neither is his. Which is probably why, after 16 years and 2 kids, our closest friends still tell us to “get a room”. 😉

  • Learning what gets your spouse in the mood and lovingly employing that to mutual benefit isn’t harmful. I’ll agree with you on that much. That’s not at all what I see in Game though.

    Game teaches men to recognize that women do not, contrary to what they might have said, want sissy-boys. Okay, good so far. What comes next?

    Women want a real man. Okay, good so far. What follows this?

    Instruction for how to be a real man and get what you want from a woman – except that the instructions aren’t about what it takes to be a real man, they are about pride and arrogance and control. Not love – self-love which are two very different things. I don’t see anything in Game that will teach men to be real men – just create a facsimile that’s attractive to women that can’t recognize the real deal.

    It is worth noting that when Paul handed out his instructions regarding marriage, he did not say ‘wives, see to it that your husbands love you and ‘husbands, see to it that your wife subjects herself to you.’ The responsibility to comply with this command is given to the wife, not the husband.

  • Learning what gets your spouse in the mood and lovingly employing that to mutual benefit isn’t harmful. I’ll agree with you on that much. That’s not at all what I see in Game though.

    Game teaches men to recognize that women do not, contrary to what they might have said, want sissy-boys. Okay, good so far. What comes next?

    Women want a real man. Okay, good so far. What follows this?

    Instruction for how to be a real man and get what you want from a woman – except that the instructions aren’t about what it takes to be a real man, they are about pride and arrogance and control. Not love – self-love which are two very different things. I don’t see anything in Game that will teach men to be real men – just create a facsimile that’s attractive to women that can’t recognize the real deal.

    It is worth noting that when Paul handed out his instructions regarding marriage, he did not say ‘wives, see to it that your husbands love you and ‘husbands, see to it that your wife subjects herself to you.’ The responsibility to comply with this command is given to the wife, not the husband.

  • I wish they would not use the word “game” for this behavior. So many times I am expexting a review of a new software game for my computer and then all the writting is about poon. It just isn’t fair.

  • AJW308

    Giraffe is right, what Roissey pushes is an abomination, a perversion and misuse of the created.

    What Vox does is use Roissey as data to show that the mechanism exists. Period. Vox would use medical data obtained at Dachau if it fit his argument, not because he approves of the ideology of the Nazi’s, but because the data is useful. Nothing more.

    Res, You are a man amongst men. I have always respected what you say, case in point.

  • AJW308

    Giraffe is right, what Roissey pushes is an abomination, a perversion and misuse of the created.

    What Vox does is use Roissey as data to show that the mechanism exists. Period. Vox would use medical data obtained at Dachau if it fit his argument, not because he approves of the ideology of the Nazi’s, but because the data is useful. Nothing more.

    Res, You are a man amongst men. I have always respected what you say, case in point.

  • Hedi, what you are describing is the way it is supposed be. You and your husband are doing a good thing, the right thing in fact.

    Satan has so destroyed the intended place of sex in our lives, but the need for it and the basic response to it still exists. So what happens when the right and proper place for sex no longer exists? Men look for substitutes. Men still need it and are willing to listen to anybody or any method that will get them what they need. That is why so many guys are interested in the topic.

    At vox’s what does that say about the Christian men? I don’t know. I only know a few of them in RL. I would hazard a guess that even if their sex life is good at home they are still interested in the conversation, if for no other reason, because they are guys. In most cases I’d bet that they wish it was better and any answer to that would be welcome. Are they going to go out and try to score with college girls that have daddy issues? Probably not. That doesn’t change their God given need that isn’t being met, but they won’t cross that line. Most likely they will suffer in silence and be the good responsible church member. They will eagerly wait for the post on how to game your wife into a raving nymphomaniac.

    Arielle, you are correct. Part of game is about changing to be more manly. The reason for doing it is manipulation. Is it wrong? Yes, but only to the degree that it is used to access something that is a substitute for Gods designed role for sex.

  • AJW,

    Thank you.

    You are spot on about Vox and why he posts on this.

  • AJW, I too agree with your observation. I’ve thought something similar to that myself.

    And Res, thank you for continuing this discussion the way you have. On my blog or in RL t has never been my intent to start a discussion just for the sake of a good argument. I would prefer to be educated and informed. Which you have done. Nicely.

    I cannot in good conscience support Game in it’s entirety given that it is largely based on self-gratification not a Biblical version of love, which is not candy-ass, smarmy emotionalism, but the kind of dedication which would result in laying down our lives for those we do love, namely our spouses. What I can do, after this conversation, is say that I understand more clearly, though not completely, a mans desire to understand his woman and how to “work the system”.

    I can also recognize that simply recognizing a pattern of behavior and a genetic predisposition to certain appetites is not, in and of itself, abhorrent. This helps me gain a better perspective on the male part of the conversation regarding “Game”.

    As a girl…And I do play one in real life… I’ve already stated how this type of conversation strikes me. Girls like to think they’ve still got a little mystery left.

    🙂

  • Hedi,

    I have avoided this topic at Vox’s because I just didn’t see it as something to spend time on. That’s partly because I know how guys thing and partly because I’m married and it doesn’t apply. I chose to engage on this at Arielle’s and here because I thought you two were trying to answer “why”.

    Men and women do not look at life and sex the same way. We aren’t made to either. My personal belief is that when God said “let us make man in our own image” and “it is good”, he did at least three things.

    1. The personality traits given to men and to women are in fact aspects of the personality traits of God split between the sexes. Men are strong logical etc, women are emotional nurturing etc. God seems to have choose to pass more of parts of his image to one sex over the other.

    2. God created our drives and instincts. Other than basic survival, sex is the males strongest drive. Men need sex so badly that the craving for it causes us to do all sorts of things that we wouldn’t do otherwise. Men are so visually orientated that the mere sight of a women will arouse this drive even if she is modest and entirely proper in her clothing.

    3. God did all this and then said “It is good”. That to me anyway, means that the basic personalities and drives we have as men and women are proper and following them is expected.

    I wonder why God set things up this way? One reason I’ve come up with is as a spiritual teaching tool. To know your mate is an analogy leading to spiritual truth. Scripture is full of illustrations in which God pursues people like a lover, or where God describes His peoples unfaithfulness as adultery. I’m sure a girl doesn’t understand the drive or the reward a man has in her pursuit and winning her as a lover. I’m equally sure I don’t understand the reward that God has in my pursuit and winning me to a faithful relationship. I do get the picture though. I get the picture when he compares my faithlessness to adultery. In sex God has given us a gift that teaches us spiritual truth.

    Sex does other things too. It is the building block for the marriage relationship. Notice, relationship isn’t the basis for sex. Sex its self can be the only factor creating marriage. Hows that for unromantic? Yet it is biblical. Without sex men would have no reason to enter into a relationship with women. God gave men the ability to survive and live based on their strength and logic, etc. We don’t need help with this, or if we do we seek the cooperation of other men. There is no intrinsic survival skills that women posses that men do not have in greater quantity. We don’t need you to live. We do however need sex they way you seem to think you need food water and air.

    All of this is part of God’s plan for mankind. Game is being used to manipulate women into giving sex with the man giving nothing back. A smart women would save every bit of her sexuality to attract a man that compliments her. Women don’t do that very often anymore. We get a free “show” of just about every females body that we encounter on the street. Feminism degraded women to the point that sex is as casual as an exchange of body fluids in our society.

    Women once had the protection of traditional roles and an elevated consideration for their personage. Satan corrupted these roles into what we see today. Game isn’t the problem, a world in which it is the most likely route to sexual satisfaction is.

  • Hedi,

    I have avoided this topic at Vox’s because I just didn’t see it as something to spend time on. That’s partly because I know how guys thing and partly because I’m married and it doesn’t apply. I chose to engage on this at Arielle’s and here because I thought you two were trying to answer “why”.

    Men and women do not look at life and sex the same way. We aren’t made to either. My personal belief is that when God said “let us make man in our own image” and “it is good”, he did at least three things.

    1. The personality traits given to men and to women are in fact aspects of the personality traits of God split between the sexes. Men are strong logical etc, women are emotional nurturing etc. God seems to have choose to pass more of parts of his image to one sex over the other.

    2. God created our drives and instincts. Other than basic survival, sex is the males strongest drive. Men need sex so badly that the craving for it causes us to do all sorts of things that we wouldn’t do otherwise. Men are so visually orientated that the mere sight of a women will arouse this drive even if she is modest and entirely proper in her clothing.

    3. God did all this and then said “It is good”. That to me anyway, means that the basic personalities and drives we have as men and women are proper and following them is expected.

    I wonder why God set things up this way? One reason I’ve come up with is as a spiritual teaching tool. To know your mate is an analogy leading to spiritual truth. Scripture is full of illustrations in which God pursues people like a lover, or where God describes His peoples unfaithfulness as adultery. I’m sure a girl doesn’t understand the drive or the reward a man has in her pursuit and winning her as a lover. I’m equally sure I don’t understand the reward that God has in my pursuit and winning me to a faithful relationship. I do get the picture though. I get the picture when he compares my faithlessness to adultery. In sex God has given us a gift that teaches us spiritual truth.

    Sex does other things too. It is the building block for the marriage relationship. Notice, relationship isn’t the basis for sex. Sex its self can be the only factor creating marriage. Hows that for unromantic? Yet it is biblical. Without sex men would have no reason to enter into a relationship with women. God gave men the ability to survive and live based on their strength and logic, etc. We don’t need help with this, or if we do we seek the cooperation of other men. There is no intrinsic survival skills that women posses that men do not have in greater quantity. We don’t need you to live. We do however need sex they way you seem to think you need food water and air.

    All of this is part of God’s plan for mankind. Game is being used to manipulate women into giving sex with the man giving nothing back. A smart women would save every bit of her sexuality to attract a man that compliments her. Women don’t do that very often anymore. We get a free “show” of just about every females body that we encounter on the street. Feminism degraded women to the point that sex is as casual as an exchange of body fluids in our society.

    Women once had the protection of traditional roles and an elevated consideration for their personage. Satan corrupted these roles into what we see today. Game isn’t the problem, a world in which it is the most likely route to sexual satisfaction is.