Politicks | Satire | Sublimly Ridiculous

It’s for the children…

May 15, 2008

I just had a thought.

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Are you ready?

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Felons, crack-heads, illegals and feminists should give up their uteruses. Uteri? Uterusi? It could be like one of those gun exchange programs down at the police station. No questions asked, Planned Parenthood could utilize the services of one of their highly skilled and under-appreciated surgeons of mass destruction (SMD) and just yank them out one at a time. No questions asked, we could give out incentives these women would appreciate… Free tattoos, all the pinto beans you can carry, a life-time supply of Marlboro Reds, heck, gas vouchers would probably be the gift of choice for a lot of these priceless, contributing members of society.

I mean, c’mon. What’s that little baby-maker done for any of these women. The Feminists use it as a weapon. How many men have been bludgeoned with the suspicion of a Jr. on the way? We won’t call it mass sterilization we’ll call it letting Der Staat take care of your reproductive needs. After all, they’ll know what’s “best for you” and they’ll feed you all the Soylent Green you can handle.

CSD would have the resources to focus on the real problems, welfare would slow to a trickle, and the State would be free to focus it’s large flaming eye on the real trouble makers.

Those dang Fundamentalist.

You know, you shouldn’t mock Fundamentalists. We put the mental back in it. Or was that fun… List? Well, we offer something!

At a local tea house the other day, I was watching all the little faux hippy girls in their $250 repro retro jeans, shiny skin and, so help me, the OBAMA 08 sticker proudly pinned to the chest of the Collegiate Idiot with big glasses and absolutely no point.

The thought occurred to me…

Go ahead, abort all your babies. G-d’ll get ya. And while you are slowly insuring your own extinction, you liberal pond scum burka hugger, we’ll continue pro-creating and keeping our kids at home until there are simply just more of us than of you.

And then.

You will be assimilated.

*insert maniacal laugh here*

And if you didn’t laugh even a little through this? You need to get out more, loosen up and get a grip. This is all written in jest.

Well, except for the parts that weren’t.

  • Strange how these freaks don’t want to have any kids of their own but they’re hellbent (literally) on making sure THEY decide what YOUR kids will learn at school.

    I love your point about homeschooling and eventually outnumbering them. Problem is, the liberals are doing all they can to import new citizens and get them hooked on the government teat, thus prolonging their influence.

  • Strange how these freaks don’t want to have any kids of their own but they’re hellbent (literally) on making sure THEY decide what YOUR kids will learn at school.

    I love your point about homeschooling and eventually outnumbering them. Problem is, the liberals are doing all they can to import new citizens and get them hooked on the government teat, thus prolonging their influence.

  • Strange how these freaks don’t want to have any kids of their own but they’re hellbent (literally) on making sure THEY decide what YOUR kids will learn at school.

    I love your point about homeschooling and eventually outnumbering them. Problem is, the liberals are doing all they can to import new citizens and get them hooked on the government teat, thus prolonging their influence.

  • AJW308

    Not only will we assimilate them, we have all the guns and know how to use them.

    Are you aware that you’ve just posted Mega-Secret Plan Blue 12B of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy? That was supposed to be a secret.

    Though, rather that produce young liberals, the current child bearing liberals are outsourcing their child bearing to Mexico. How can we counter that?

  • AJW308

    Not only will we assimilate them, we have all the guns and know how to use them.

    Are you aware that you’ve just posted Mega-Secret Plan Blue 12B of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy? That was supposed to be a secret.

    Though, rather that produce young liberals, the current child bearing liberals are outsourcing their child bearing to Mexico. How can we counter that?

  • Poison their pinto beans. Put contraceptives in their quincenera cakes.

    Or convince them that if they play along, we just might give them California back.

    Of course, given what’s happening lately, I don’t really want to keep it. If we could just move out a few good folks like Difster and my sil & fam, I’d be good.

    We could give Hollywood to the Vatican, I think they’d get along real fine. Hollywood sins, Vatican sells indulgences and everybody wins! Most of the persons of closer equatorial equanimity are Catholic and they’d prefer that to the option of a Protestant world…

    *rubs hands gleefully*

    This is looking better and better.

  • Resistance is futile — I vote Heidi ’08!

  • Resistance is futile — I vote Heidi ’08!