Muddled Musings

September 12, 2009

Do you suppose G-d looks down on us, considers the impact of our days, and then offers us a second chance?

His mercies are new every morning.   Could you imagine that is what that means?

There is a passion for significance within each of us.  I want to matter.  You want to matter.   We are drawn to those few who affirm and reaffirm the importance of our existence and find ourselves repulsed by those who take us for granted and ridicule our efforts.

I’m struggling with the concept of significance.   It feels somehow selfish to admit, out loud, that more important to me than brilliance, beauty or acknowledgment I desire to have made a positive impact.  I want to be certain I have left a mark irrevocably affecting those whom I touch.

The few whom I truly touch.

How is that accomplished?  What should I do?  How should I be?

Is it through words strung together on a page somehow reaching you on the other side and gripping your heart, turning you closer to self-awareness or a deeper understanding of G-d’s grace and compassion?

A song sung from the depths of my soul?   Perhaps a prayer offered, a note sent.   Perhaps in a hand held or a hug offered and accepted.

I don’t know.  I confess that I truly don’t.  The trivialities of life with their magnificent way of leeching the vitality from my days often keep me from seeing the forest for the trees.

One thing I have determined is this:  It is far wiser to invest in a very few than to assume the role of Messiah and pretend I have the ability or the resources to invest in many.

Yet what should I invest?   I see that I have so much to learn and so great a need for silence and instruction.  Often that keeps me on the fringes and silent.

Further still, I lack confidence and faith that those around me truly want what I have to offer.

Not said as a plea for affirmation, simply the truth of my perspective.

I look at the people in my life and I find them precious beyond words.   Uniquely gifted and faithfully carried by a conscientious Creator.   Each face a testimony of His endless creativity.   The lisp,  the off-kilter perspective,   the crooked teeth and the age spots.    The raspy voice that sings when perhaps the talent is not there.   A creative flair for color.  Inquisitive minds.   Calloused hands.

I am amazed every day by the endless kaleidescope of humanity around me.   Even with flaws, foibles and less than Hollywood exteriors.   I find those around me  lovely.    Priceless.   Treasures.

I wonder if that’s how He sees us…

  • Doom

    You have so overlooked something. Who looks back at you every day of your life, since they were born? Not having these, I cannot tell you what you have seen, only what I am missing. The bible says, over and over, go forth multiply and be fruitful.

    I think, as God implies, we may not win wars, gain glory, or even defeat Satan in our lives, it is He who does this, if channeled through us and our faith. Why would he not leave much, too, in the hands of our posterity? When I become baffled by such questions, I try to prioritize. I tried this for you, in the little I know about you, if from my perspective. You are richer by far this way than I.

  • I think you are wise to invest in your loved ones. “Store up your treasures in heaven” — and what goes to heaven? Not our wallets or bank accounts or anything else material, but the souls of those we love. And what treasures you will find there, both here and in heaven.