School

Not My Problem

June 24, 2010

I confess that I purposely antagonized a liberal yesterday.   And not just any liberal but a young, earnest, trying his hardest to grow a beard while asking for signatures on his petition liberal.

First.  To be perfectly clear I have to admit that I was turned off by his blatant mis-use of “hippy-esque” attire.   While he did look suitably unkempt with all 14 of his chin hairs waving at maximum ferocity. All 1 1/2″ of their hard earned length fairly bristling with compassion and misappropriated angst the latest design Patagonia fleece & t-shirt, the $140 sneakers and the hemp necklace did seem to send conflicting messages.

The first of his clipboard missives was to ask me to sign something to bring more $$$ to the school system.

Being a somewhat portly 36 year old mother of two who was trying to corral the Raging Hormone known as Scooby the boxer while allowing her husband a moment to conclude a Craigslist sale with an America’s Got Talent XXX contestant who “sings” downtown but wanted to buy a very nice tent I was, as you can imagine, not entirely excited about engaging with this young individual.

I also seemed to find it impossible to resist baiting him.

So when he asked me to sign for him this petition please because it was for the CHILDREN!!! I smirked and said, “I homeschool.  Why would I sign this?”

“Not everyone can do that!  This is for the poor children.”

“Not my problem.”, I replied.

“But, b-b-but,” he stammered, “There are thousands of poor children who have NEEEDSSSS.”

Doe eyes commenced.

“Not my problem.  I take very good care of the children I have.  These other kids? Not my problem.”

He took a step back, changed tactics and brought out the other clipboard.   “More money for state parks?”

Oh, what the heck.  I’ll sign it.

Of course, I didn’t tell him that I’m not registered to vote… That would’ve ruined the signature and the misty-eyed gratitude.

In parting, I said… “You know, for far less than $3000.00 I educate two children well.   Why would I vote to increase spending when think tanks, education professionals and hordes of well-minded citizens can’t seem to do the job with the millions they already have?”

He took a step back and said, “Oh, I’m not talking about that any more.”

I laughed at him and wandered off with the Mr and the dog.

That was 6 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

  • I consider it a well spent 6 minutes, Heidi. 🙂

  • He got off light.

  • You’re slippin’. I thought you could do better than that. Glad you didn’t waist too much time on him though, but next time make it up for us bloggers. 🙂

    I signed the state park one yesterday – he didn’t ask about the school one. . . . Not sure what I would have said. 🙂

  • 🙂 I suppose I could have really gotten on his case and been super-duper obnoxious. But I figured he was doing just fine on his own in that department.

    In retrospect, I should have insisted that he give me real data, real facts, real life experiences instead of that vague insanity about “the CHILDRENNNN”. Also, what really annoyed me was that while there was all this compassion there was no mention of who was sponsoring this up coming piece of legislation.

    Which is another reason I wouldn’t sign something like that.

  • I have, as you might imagine, antagonized my share of liberals also. I prefer to take the indirect approach though. Let them think they’re sucking me in. I get them talking, I nod, throw in a few uh-huh’s and then, just when they’re about to hit their stride I strategically interrupt them and say, “I have a few questions.” Depending on the topic, I knock down their little idols one by one. But I always bring things back around to the basic concepts of liberty and the inherent evils of government. It’s fun to watch their eyes flick back and forth whilst trying to access empty memory banks for a reasoned reply. Of course they don’t have one because there isn’t one to be had in any case. Also, I’ve been at this a lot longer than they have so they just don’t know how to play the game.

    They try to get out of it by making lots of different statements about different things and then accusing me of not being able to answer the questions. Either that or they get personal. In any case, it’s a lot of fun.

  • Serena

    Since he had 2 unrelated petitions for you to sign he was probably being paid so much for each signed petition. I have a friend in FL who has made a lot of money off of getting people to sign petitions.

  • Doom

    If the “kid” doesn’t grow up to be a teacher, he will one day regret having done this work. Then again, I think a lot of those type end up in “collectives”, doing nothing but figuring out how to bilk the government they want to overthrow… or, something like that. One almost wishes, at some point, that they succeed and get what they want (but after I am dead).

    Anywhile, glad you got to mention a few things. I doubt if his cannabis fueled mind caught a thing of it, but just maybe… just maybe. Ha!

  • He probably didn’t want to talk about it because he didn’t actually care; he was just feeding you a line he uses to guilt reluctant people into signing. (After all, they wouldn’t want to look like a Bad Person for not helping poor children!) As Mom mentioned, petitions are a surprisingly lucrative source of income and he probably wasn’t doing it for ideological reasons.

  • Arielle & Serena. Two words.
    Buzz. Kill.

    🙂 I think you are right but it was still REALLY fun.

  • *grin* Sorry. If not for our knowledge of the petition business I would have assumed the same thing you did.

    I’m sure you were making him squirm either way.

School

Not My Problem

I confess that I purposely antagonized a liberal yesterday.   And not just any liberal but a young, earnest, trying his hardest to grow a beard while asking for signatures on his petition liberal.

First.  To be perfectly clear I have to admit that I was turned off by his blatant mis-use of “hippy-esque” attire.   While he did look suitably unkempt with all 14 of his chin hairs waving at maximum ferocity. All 1 1/2″ of their hard earned length fairly bristling with compassion and misappropriated angst the latest design Patagonia fleece & t-shirt, the $140 sneakers and the hemp necklace did seem to send conflicting messages.

The first of his clipboard missives was to ask me to sign something to bring more $$$ to the school system.

Being a somewhat portly 36 year old mother of two who was trying to corral the Raging Hormone known as Scooby the boxer while allowing her husband a moment to conclude a Craigslist sale with an America’s Got Talent XXX contestant who “sings” downtown but wanted to buy a very nice tent I was, as you can imagine, not entirely excited about engaging with this young individual.

I also seemed to find it impossible to resist baiting him.

So when he asked me to sign for him this petition please because it was for the CHILDREN!!! I smirked and said, “I homeschool.  Why would I sign this?”

“Not everyone can do that!  This is for the poor children.”

“Not my problem.”, I replied.

“But, b-b-but,” he stammered, “There are thousands of poor children who have NEEEDSSSS.”

Doe eyes commenced.

“Not my problem.  I take very good care of the children I have.  These other kids? Not my problem.”

He took a step back, changed tactics and brought out the other clipboard.   “More money for state parks?”

Oh, what the heck.  I’ll sign it.

Of course, I didn’t tell him that I’m not registered to vote… That would’ve ruined the signature and the misty-eyed gratitude.

In parting, I said… “You know, for far less than $3000.00 I educate two children well.   Why would I vote to increase spending when think tanks, education professionals and hordes of well-minded citizens can’t seem to do the job with the millions they already have?”

He took a step back and said, “Oh, I’m not talking about that any more.”

I laughed at him and wandered off with the Mr and the dog.

That was 6 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.