I confess that I purposely antagonized a liberal yesterday. And not just any liberal but a young, earnest, trying his hardest to grow a beard while asking for signatures on his petition liberal.
First. To be perfectly clear I have to admit that I was turned off by his blatant mis-use of “hippy-esque” attire. While he did look suitably unkempt with all 14 of his chin hairs waving at maximum ferocity. All 1 1/2″ of their hard earned length fairly bristling with compassion and misappropriated angst the latest design Patagonia fleece & t-shirt, the $140 sneakers and the hemp necklace did seem to send conflicting messages.
The first of his clipboard missives was to ask me to sign something to bring more $$$ to the school system.
Being a somewhat portly 36 year old mother of two who was trying to corral the Raging Hormone known as Scooby the boxer while allowing her husband a moment to conclude a Craigslist sale with an America’s Got Talent XXX contestant who “sings” downtown but wanted to buy a very nice tent I was, as you can imagine, not entirely excited about engaging with this young individual.
I also seemed to find it impossible to resist baiting him.
So when he asked me to sign for him this petition please because it was for the CHILDREN!!! I smirked and said, “I homeschool. Why would I sign this?”
“Not everyone can do that! This is for the poor children.”
“Not my problem.”, I replied.
“But, b-b-but,” he stammered, “There are thousands of poor children who have NEEEDSSSS.”
Doe eyes commenced.
“Not my problem. I take very good care of the children I have. These other kids? Not my problem.”
He took a step back, changed tactics and brought out the other clipboard. “More money for state parks?”
Oh, what the heck. I’ll sign it.
Of course, I didn’t tell him that I’m not registered to vote… That would’ve ruined the signature and the misty-eyed gratitude.
In parting, I said… “You know, for far less than $3000.00 I educate two children well. Why would I vote to increase spending when think tanks, education professionals and hordes of well-minded citizens can’t seem to do the job with the millions they already have?”
He took a step back and said, “Oh, I’m not talking about that any more.”
I laughed at him and wandered off with the Mr and the dog.
That was 6 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.