Hey y’all, I’m taking a quick break from a YSOUS (Yard Sale Of Unusual Success) to say one thing…
The whole concept of marriages being in such disarray that men and women are achingly lonely in what should be the closest, most productive, most fulfilling human relationship G-d created is sad.
Beyond sad. Tragic.
As women, we have failed if we are unable to comprehend the basics of how to love the men we have been blessed with. I believe we aren’t “commanded” to love because G-d knows that, due to the very essence of true womanhood, we are programmed to love. We must be taught to respect. That doesn’t come naturally to us. Even after extensive training. 🙂
To see that we have, in general, become so violently opposed and deaf, dumb and blind to godly love in marriage is appalling.
I see good, well-meaning men truly seeking to honor G-d while struggling with strong, unmet desires and passions. I see them struggling alone. In a highly sensual society with temptation streaking in front of them, pursuing them and doing all it can to destroy them, it’s a miracle any husband, Christian or otherwise, has the self-control to stay faithful.
Think about that for a moment when you start accusing your brother of needing self-control because he has a strong sex drive. I know I will.
Besides. Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that a couple with small children and hectic work schedules can only find “time” once a week. I know for some that’s more than usual and for others it’s like a starvation diet.
But what if, instead of a 5 minute quickie while she grocery shops in her head, she makes the effort to do all she can to Blow His Mind. What if she is completely available, completely engaged, and completely enamored with his effort and their time together.
What if they both came together with the commitment to make that small window in a busy life as meaningful, important and focused on the other person as they possibly are able.
What if… I believe it would change the perspective of most women AND men toward what sex is. Sometimes a quickie is enough for him. Sometimes she needs to talk.
Find another time for that.
What if you planned for awesome once a week? Just 52 times a year (approx. with exceptions for the usual and agreed upon subjects). If that was what you could reasonably give each other and spend the time to make it smokin’….
Wouldn’t you? Would that change how you relate to each other the rest of the time?
It’s not rocket science. Men don’t get married to have a housekeeper, a maid or a nanny. They don’t get married to have platonic relationships and fellowship with their sister in the Lord. *gag*
What part of “help-meet” are we girls too stupid to understand? Or are we too focused on helping only in the areas that feed our ego and the mis-placed concept of “nurture” which has been falsely elevated to become the highest form of womanhood?
My brothers, I am grieved by the fact that you struggle with cold, unresponsive women. That is wrong. I am saddened a wife would not understand the critical nature of “guarding” her husband by keeping him satisfied according to a method and expression that works to build and strengthen the relationship.
I know this rabbit trail is merely one more attempt to make sense of the nonsensical.
I wish you well.