A blogger is not a writer. Someone who writes is not technically a “writer”. Although grammatically, that is the barest minimum required to fit the description.
I was challenged in my thinking this weekend and thought I would share a few thoughts.
1. I write because i want to. I write because I can and I write here because it tickles my fancy to do so. I don’t write because you, my beloved reader, read here. Your interaction is often enjoyable but not necessary.
2. I don’t write to interest you. I write to interest me. Sue me. It’s my house, it’s my party. It’s my blog. Yes, it is all about me.
3. I am not emotionally distraught if you disagree with me or don’t comment or don’t visit, or send me hate mail with pictures of dead kittens. Not that anyone has done that last little bit, but for future reference I will track your sorry ass and send that nasty email to your local PD if you dare. . For the love of all that’s holy, whatever you do Please Do Not Be A Sycophant! *look it up*
4. I don’t prefer to use excessive foul language, post naughty pictures or talk, graphically, about sex. Much. Mostly because I think it’s vulgar and disrespects the brain G-d gave me, the reputation I try to protect as being a thoughtful, reasonably intelligent human being and frankly since I only have sex with one person and he’s not real excited about me sharing his, ahem, performance with ANYONE… There’s no reason to do so! There are those who wax long and eloquent about their experience and well, hey! Glad you had a good time! It’s not somewhere I need to go. All I will say is that we are extremely well-suited and after 14 years? Absolutely delighted that we have each other. Caveat: Most men using foul language are a different animal. Call me a hypocrite. Whatever. Mr. Bane is, well, vitriolic and um, graphic. He is, however, Bane. He will offend you, shock you, entertain you and make you cry. Probably in the same day. In his case? All bets are off. You just sit back and enjoy the ride. But underneath it all? In my experience, he is one of the most honest voices on the internet… That there world wide web. Besides, men are supposed to sound strong, be strong and exude testosterone. A mere, oh my! isn’t going to convey that is it?
5. I don’t pretend to be a professional writer, I don’t pretend to be interesting, insightful, witty or charming. Any evidence that those things have happened is sheer coincidence, blessing, serendipity? I want to give as much thoughtful and reasonably intelligent content as I can. I think sometimes I deliver But I rarely even edit or spell-check.
6. Ultimately it’s a gift to me that anyone comes by and reads here. I don’t believe I am entitled to it and I certainly don’t expect anything from anyone who comments here but the bare minimum of human decency.
7. I don’t blog to make friends. I have friends in Real Life and I enjoy them. You, my cyber-buddy, are a part of my life but I honestly think very little about you when not on my computer. I’m sorry if you find that hurtful. I prefer people I can see to pixels and pica. Besides, as nice as you all seem, how do I really know you aren’t some bald guy in his mother’s basement, eh? Yeah… Prove it!
See, I have seen some of what’s out there recently and OH MY GOODNESS!!!! what a bunch of brainless drivel! Especially, ladies, from those of us, the fairer sex who, for Pete’s sake, actually think they are going to get oodles and bunches and gobs and tons of traffic and comments from the most inane, tedious, mundane thoughts you could ever imagine.
One little spark of brilliance came from a woman who shall remain nameless on the off chance that you would burn brain cells by experiencing her blog.
She blogged about Costco… Complete with copious additions of the euphemistic and *giggle nudge* WTF at the end of each sentence. Now… I ask you… Is there a market for Costco bashing? Of course there is. But this lovely woman, through her nonstop use of foul language sounded like a cheap whore, not an intelligent individual.
And that was only one of her posts. Thighs? She posted about her thighs. With a random, amateur photograph…. And it wasn’t even good!
Pictures of children, lengthy descriptions of flu-symptoms… Too many adjectives, not enough content.
See, I’ve been spoiled here. Sparrow, Birdie, Jen at Diary of 1, are thoughtful, intelligent, coherent women who are fun, interesting, a little bit sassy sometimes and yet I don’t ever feel as though they have compromised their integrity by anything they have written. When I read of their families and friends I see good, I see struggles, I see faith. I don’t see “honesty” being used as a thin guise for bashing everyone around them. WW talks about that porn-star quality sex life she experiences with her Seamus but truly? Somehow, again there’s the exception to the rule. She cracks me up. After the life she’s lived I am just so thrilled for her happiness.
*sigh* And don’t even get me started on the “christian” women talking about their “crushes”… The sexy Bag Boy. Gag. How would that little precious feel if her husband were writing about that hot piece of ass at work? Geese and ganders…
I know. I’m ranting. But it’s these silly and ridiculous women who give the rest of us girls on the internet a bad name!
It would be really cool to someday write lovely, brilliant and well-formed thoughts that bring oodles of cash to my little checking account. Yes, I would enjoy the satisfaction of “writing” or “expressing myself” for a living.
But I don’t do that here. I don’t do that anywhere. Not in a box, not with a fox. Not on a hill, not with Jill…
Seriously, this is just a blog. You have “just a blog”. Why the hell does everyone have to take it all so seriously???!!!