Sometimes things happen and they make sense. There is an order to them.
There are things that happen that blow it all to hell. Seriously all to hell. And even the folks on the fringes end up catching shrapnel and limping away.
My sweet friend celebrated her birthday a few weeks ago. She’s beautiful. Gorgeous smile, dark curly hair.
The day before yesterday she went over to her parents house and found that her 23 year old brother had taken his own life. Violently.
And she’s devastated. I don’t know what to say. There are no cliches, no trite sayings. This is horrific. It’s wrong. Life shouldn’t be like this. G-d didn’t plan for this devestation. He couldn’t! He allows, I know. Free will and all that. But this?
Brutalizing. Demoralizing. Confusing.
I look at my boys and hold them a little closer. I think of my younger brother and all his trials and my throat constricts while my mind refuses to go to the thought of not having him only a phone call away. Even when we don’t always communicate well. Even when I complain about being misunderstood.
Old habits die hard. Don’t judge me.
So I’m making food for the family tomorrow. Because that’s what I’ve been asked to do and that’s what I know. I picked up some inane and stupid card because I can’t just say NOTHING!
Tonight I grieve for a young man I never met and a friend who will spend a long time trying to pick up these pieces. It’s so unfair. Incomplete. Without resolution and peace.
Oh, Lord, send Your presence. The need is so great.