It’s been a BIZZIE couple of weeks here at the Homestead and I’d apologize for the lack of post-age if my little Rav4 wasn’t so damn cute! Yes, she’s 11 years old but she’s such fun to drive!!! Compared to the Gas Beast I was driving. I went 74 miles on 1/6th of a tank. A SIXTH!
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
In other news… After confessing many real and several imagined sins in an effort to beg healing from a bout of “acute intestinal distress” which was kind of like saying labor is some “mild cramping” we have a possible culprit. I’m not kidding. I wondered if being hit by a truck would hurt less. Think convulsing, spasming stomach pain with an aside of acid reflux and some other things even I won’t discuss publicly. Oh, what the hell, I could have peeled paint off the walls and my genteel burps registered on the Richter scale in Wyoming. As a result of these phenomenon, I have discovered that among other things that I’m “wheat sensitive”.
This is hippie speak for eating wheat makes me want to gut myself with a slightly sharpened rusty axe because it just might hurt less.
To add insult to injury, I was actually forced to have a lengthy conversation with a woman in the Health Food section of the store today about the relative merit of rice flour v. potato flour. In spite of her adamant head bobbing and somewhat insane (to me) assurances that a rice flour pie crust will turn out just SMURFY if I use this xantham? gum stuff? I left a bit under-whelmed and not quite on the bandwagon. If you know what I mean…
My mother-in-law, bless her, says it’s ok and since she’s a marvelous cook I’ll take her word over Head Bob Helper.
Hmmm…. We will report back our findings.
Do you realize the impact this will have on my life? No cheeseburgers. No pizza. No spaghetti unless it’s that brown rice stuff and I’m still a bit leery… Do you know how much wheat is in EVERYTHING? Cookies, cakes, pies, doughnuts *groan*, candy, cereal, bread, gravy, did I mention cookies? And cake?
I’m going to start crying any minute now…
*sucking it up*
I will persevere. I will figure this out. Even though it pleases me immensely to complain, it really is worth it because, for the first time in A Very Long Time, I have been pain free in my stomach for almost a week. Well… I thought the cookie crust on the DELICIOUS bon bons would be ok but apparently I thought wrong.
This morning brought a fresh round of misery.
Apparently I am a bit of a delicate flower.