The Offense

November 13, 2007

Office Max, Staples, Office Depot… They all hate me. I can tell every time I walk into those stores. I can barely handle the blatant disregard for my identity and their complete lack of respect for my ethnic heritage.

Weathermen, hell the Weather Channel hates me and looks down upon me. As though I can help not having a different quantity of melanin in my epidermis. I wish they were more sensitive to my needs and weren’t so damn offensive all the time.

What’s this about?

I can barely speak the words.

White out.

Just reading the words is blatantly obvious to everyone that this product is a slap in the face to any melanin challenged person who dares to avoid a tanning booth.

Can’t you just feel the disregard? Thousands of years of repressed aggression from my epidermically enhanced and superior melanin producing brothers and sisters have finally culminated in an insidious attack upon my very DNA.

White out.

How can I possibly overcome this insult to my person-hood? This riding roughshod over the right to genetic identity I carry deeply embedded within the very core of my soul.

How could you not know that such a phrase would be offensive? Duh! There are white folks everywhere who are being mocked by office assistants and data entry professionals all over the world.

We are being told to “get out”. That we can’t be “in” we are “out”.

These are my feelings on the subject. And because they are my feelings you can’t say a thing about it.

Because then we’ll have to talk about how unfair and prejudicial not to mention down right arrogant it would be for you to devalue the enormity of my emotional response.

Then you might be intolerant.

There, I said it. Intolerant. If you dare to question me or my beliefs, you are intolerant.

Intolerant. Intolerant. Intolerant.

I think I need to go lie down. The stress of this entire conversation has just exhausted me.