Happy Thoughts

The Ring

November 23, 2011

I have the most beautiful wedding ring I’ve ever seen or imagined. It is truly the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen. Filigree, white gold, diamonds. It looks like an heirloom. Maybe someday it can be. In all my dreams and plans I could not have orchestrated the situation that brought it to me.

My husband found it. Piece by piece. By looking where no one else would. Finding treasure where no one would have thought to look.

He found the flower pendant in a pile of junk for $.50. He found the white gold filigree band, in need of a setting, for less than $300 off Craigslist. He paid a friend, who is a high end jeweler, to put them together.

He gave it to me on our 17th anniversary.

I was a poorly dressed, socially awkward, undervalued, overlooked girl. Youngest of the group. Least likely to be chosen prom queen.

Until he showed up. He picked me. Out of a crowd.

It is his gift. He sees treasure where no one else does.

It’s what he does for a living.

And under his patient care and thoughtful effort value emerges where none was before. Shabby little tables become elegant echoes of a more refined time. Shallow men become engaged participants in biblical study. 11 year old boys become deep thinkers.

And I grew from who I was, the garbage heap I was headed for by a personal fascination with self-destruction, into his wife. The mother of his children. This. Who you read here.

We’ve been married 17 years. I jokingly call our life the “17 year honeymoon”. Which when you count the fighting and adjustments that happen on a honeymoon as well as ridiculous hand-holding in public, you can get a picture of what life is like at our house

This is my ring.

All these years I’ve had wedding rings and bands, a few silver ones. An antique set we traded for a parrot. But not such a gift. I didn’t need it. I don’t need it.

When I thought I needed things like this, in my darkest, most bitter hours, this man still loved me, still treated me with honor and respect.

Yes, I wear the beautiful ring and he wears a simple comfort fit gold band.

But this ring doesn’t represent me. It represents the dedication and commitment from this man to this unworthy woman. It represents the woman I have the hope of becoming because of a man who can find value where no one else would bother.

It isn’t hard to be faithful to my husband. He is the only person who has ever taken the time to see me for who I could be not what I can do for him. I will spend the rest of my life endeavoring to become that woman, by the grace of God.

  • Doom

    You still don’t understand. You are the ring. You are just as precious and more. Trust in his vision. He didn’t make you, he merely took note of what he saw and directed a very few things. You did all the work, had everything there. Silly girl, you couldn’t be amazing without already being so, not because of him. My guess is he is humbled by the world around him, by you no less than that ring or many other things. He made none of it, he just… saw it, worked at assembling. You are your own master jeweler, he just provided a place for you to work. And work you did. The ring is probably humbled to be on your finger.

    I’m not saying it correctly. I must quit blathering though. Hopefully you will understand.

  • Doom, for your blathering that is one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.

  • Heidi, you wrote it!! Thank you! I need to subscribe to blogs so I can read these things the day they come out. It’s funny that after five years of blogging I still don’t have a reader or feeder or whatchamajig.

    But anyway, I totally second what Doom said. Geez, I wish he had a real name, he certainly does not smack of anything doomy.

    The ring is indeed beautiful, and the story fits your lives as nicely as the ring fits your finger! You ARE that woman, and more becoming each day.

  • Res Ipsa

    “I didn’t need it. I don’t need it.”

    You’re wrong. A women does need to know her rightful place in her man’s hart. Every time you see that ring and give it a second thought, you will know who you belong to and how he feels about you. He found the perfect gift for his perfect girl.

    Here’s to 17 more years.