Family Business

Know Your Limitations

July 20, 2010

Hey,  Heidi, why all the interest in understanding Alpha/alpha/ALPHA/A.L.P.H.A? *tears hair out in frustration*

Not because I want to understand my husband, although it has been an interesting discussion with him.  Not to more clearly understand the male psyche, although y’all are very different from girls under the brain pan when you take the time to discuss what you really think.  Not even as merely something to talk about because I’m wasting time at my computer when I should be doing other things…

I would like to understand what I can because of two very important reasons.

I have two sons.  No daughters.  I have two boys who will grow to become men.  I recognize my own limitations and realize the dearth of manliness out there.

If they could grow up to emulate the man their father has become?  That would be terrific. But I want more from them than to mimic.  I want them to Become Men.  Men who can be respected because their character and track record prove they are men of worth and strength.  Men who understand the gift of manliness while valuing true femininity.  Men who won’t settle for a relationship with a woman who doesn’t appreciate the distinction in their G-d given roles.

I recognize my limitations.  Mothers raise boys, fathers make men.  That was never more clear than the other day when, after a particularly obnoxious display of testosterone enhanced posturing, my 12 year old, as he looked down on me, refused to acknowledge my authority in a certain situation.

However…  When the Mr. stepped in, my son was able to “hear” him and then apologized to him first and  had himself an attitude adjustment. Then he came over, hugged me and said he was sorry.

I could have talked all day and night to him.  He wouldn’t have heard me.  But a sentence from his dad put it all into perspective. It takes men to raise men.  A boy raised into manhood in a female dominated environment will not have the necessary tools, training or confidence to apply all the natural inclinations for leadership, provision and protection that G-d ingrained in his creation.

That doesn’t mean I abdicate my parenting role at 12.  It does mean that my role in his life changes.  He’s not the only who will have a “voice” change.  HA!

I am seeking to understand this concept as it has been presented, not because I desire to create a checklist of behaviors for my sons but rather to more clearly understand the world they will be sent out into,  some of the pitfalls of certain behavior, and the kind of men they will need to become.

  • He’s not the only who will have a “voice” change. HA!

    Yours might be as difficult, but at least it wont be as embarrassing

  • Its funny how well the two parent system works. Its almost like it was designed that way or something.

    We have noticed the same thing at our home as well. Daddy seems to command more respect than mommy. This bugs mommy sometimes. Mommy on the other hand receives more expressions of love and affection. Boys and girls both need to see mom and dad relate to each other and love on each other and respect each other. Its how we learn.