Me Me ME memes

Venting, boys. Look away.

July 10, 2010

Obsessed.  Conceited.  Vain.

Those are some words that have been used to describe me.

Not because I talk about myself incessantly or brag about my exploits.   Not because I launch myself into a room and demand to be the center of attention.

Why would someone say such things?

Because I try to look nice when I leave my house…  You know, some mascara and lipstick, my hair fixed, an outfit that matches…  Jewelry that compliments.  A real purse not a garbage bag, diaper bag or recyclable shopping bag.  I wear nice perfume.  Bulgari, Vera Wang, Issey Miyaki. Chanel.

Routinely.

In some parts of the US I would be sadly under-dressed as it is painfully true that I cannot maintain a manicure of ANY kind for any length of time and my lips and nails do not match.   My dear friend, Beth, from Alabama, painted her nails 2-4x a week.

It blows my mind.

See, here’s the reality, my fantastic readers.    I am chubby.   I have a nice face *rolls eyes* but the body is, well, 36 and has borne children.  I’ve never been the willowy young thing.  Ever.   I was always.  For lack of a better term.  Sturdy.  Strong.   Built for farm labor.  I can move whatever piece of furniture I need to, carry my 12 year old, 140lb, son if I need to.  I’m not “fragile”.

Ok, that just made me laugh out loud.

I lol’d.

So, you take what you have and do the best with it that you can, right?

I suppose.  But it’s more than that.

I want my husband to be proud to be seen with me, not embarrassed by a woman who has a slovenly appearance.   I want to look like someone loves me.   Which they would anyway.  I just want to LOOK that way.

I would rather not have my sons embarrassed by a sweatpants frumpy mom.    My mom was the jean skirt, pin curls and hankie on her head type.

Humiliating.

I represent our family no matter where I am.   And I intend to do that well.  Or at least to the best of my ability.

Which doesn’t mean that I spend vast amounts of time and money on myself.   See, that’s what makes these accusations so stinkin’ funny.

Everything, well ALMOST everything I own is 2nd hand.   98% of my clothing is yard sale/thrift store. I have yet to purchase undergarments  2nd hand.  Eww…

I do my own hair. Color AND cut.    My make up is often found at 2nd hand stores (although I do draw the line at used).  Or Walmart.   My jewelry comes from estate sales and junk stores.   Not that any of it looks that way and I have been given some gorgeous vintage pieces.

But living this way is the only way I can afford to wear the brands I love.

For example… Yesterday.   Goodwill.   Gorgeous Exclusive Boutique Store Downtown Brand shirt.   New with price tag.   $108.00   I got it for less than $20.  And that’s the most I’ve spent on a shirt in probably 9 years?

My closet is full of Patagonia, boutique-y stuff, Ann Taylor… My shoes are nice too.   I have an obsession with Dansko shoes.   I rarely pay more than $20 a pair. But I probably shouldn’t have so many.

Purses… Dooney’s , Coach, Prada…  Love Prada.

My point is not to boast about all the cashmere I am collecting or the incredible pashmina I just scored.  My point is that if I can do this for an overall budget of less than $30 a month, if I’m trying…  Why can’t anyone?

And, besides the obvious concern these ladies have, that I am desperately trying to seduce their man *excuse me while I die laughing*, could they be any catty-er?

I know this is stupid to put out there but, seriously.

Sometimes I hate girls.

  • I think it’s neat you go to that effort. Definitely an area I could improve in as most days I look fairly casual and rumpled. Perhaps I can slip that in when I start my son’s school this fall and have more of a routine I need to stick to.

    I guess it’s easier not to be jealous of the women that look pretty and put together when you trust your husband not to be going after them?

  • I guess it’s easier not to be jealous of the women that look pretty and put together when you trust your husband not to be going after them?

    I think it has more to do with trying to bring someone (in this case Heidi) down to their level as she otherwise makes them look bad in their frumpiness.

  • wendy

    Women can be catty, they just can. It’s not one of our best qualities. Whatever is going on, they are jealous. You would be beautiful in a garbage bag, girl…and the fact that you also put some effort into it, well, it puts them to shame. Be yourself.

  • Doom

    Why some women want to put other women down for doing your best is beyond me. I have seen it from those “above”, those “below”, and those on par. I think women do this for sport like men, as a general rule, use sports (and can be harsh if not quite as nasty about it). Still, it seems so personal for women? With men it leads to other contests or direct conflict, with women it never really ends?

    Still, I like what I read about you. A little heavy? Oh noes! Whether genetic or not, a woman has what she has to work with, and that, quite frankly, is a lot where ever they are. Women, simply put, are beautiful creatures. I only have about six prejudices: short, tall, or medium; a bit thin, right in the middle, or a bit thick. And, a well formed woman who tends who attributes judiciously will surpass thin and medium any day.

    Anyway, I like what you do for yourself from what I hear. Even without a family, a woman who cares without obsessing (or breaking the bank), gets an A+ in my book. That you represent a family as well, only adds to it. It means your beauty is functional, as a wife, as a mom, and as a woman. And that you can be functional while fulfilling those roles must mean you are no slouch! Yikes, if I do place women in a different category than men, and so do not relinquish equality, make no mistake that I have great respect for a good woman, and more so than even a many ‘decent’ men (like myself).

    Anyway, have a happy chunky little life, and do not worry about the chitter chatter of the other squirrels. Bushy tailed nut collectors are not to be trusted every matter, high and low, but especially regarding other squirrels! :p

    I didn’t just write that.

  • Ya’ll are sweet and now I’m just embarrassed! 🙂 I really wasn’t looking for a daily affirmation.

    Vox once observed that women dress to impress other women. Something I used to do before I met the Mr. It involved lots of floral prints…

    Which didn’t look all that appealing, in retrospect.

    After we got married, he was pretty vocal and brutally honest about what looked good and what didn’t. I have grown to love this and have learned to dress to impress HIM on a regular basis.

    Which seems to bring out the claws on the girlfolk, sometimes. Along with requests for me to become their “personal shopper”. Even their husbands have, at times, asked me to be their wives stylist… A request I usually ignore. Mostly because it creeps the hell out of me.

    I’ve never looked at a friend and evaluated their character based on their appearance. If they look nice, I compliment them and then promptly forget it. I find beauty to be something else completely and usually wouldn’t even call a woman beautiful until after I have had the opportunity to meet her or evaluate her character. I have found that the majority of my friends started out barely blipping on my radar and eventually became incredibly beautiful, to me, in their own unique way.

    Which generally had nothing to do with what clothes they were wearing or the amount of time they did or did not spend on their make up.

    Honestly, most of the time I don’t really notice what my friends are wearing. Unless they appear uncomfortable or have taken special considerations. And it never occurred to me, prior to this conversation, that I was in competition with anyone!

  • Spacebunny

    I think it’s fantastic that you do this. And yes, women are catty, even at 7 years old they are…. wonder where they learn it?

    Having lived in the land of “women don’t wear jeans in the city” for over a decade now, returning the midwest is always a bit of a culture shock for me in that regard. Even my farmer Grandfather always changed his clothes when he went into town for any reason and my former stewardess aunt would be shocked at what passes for appropriate travel clothes these days…..

  • Maybe women will act this way towards another woman, but a woman of valor won’t. If she does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life, then she is going to treat her friends the same because it is her character. Whatever women that are talking that way about/to you, they are not friends and they are not ladies. I’m the kind of woman who has no use for that kind of thing and never have.

    Cattiness is some of the wisdom that is” earthly, sensual and of the devil” to quote James as it definitely falls in the category of jealousy and selfish ambition.

    I commend you on your frugalness and meeting the challenge of looking beautiful without spending a fortune to do so. Even more, your inner beauty shines forth. BTW, you describe me when you talk of being sturdy and strong. I think of Laura Ingalls and her Pa calling her a little French horse. That is such a nice description of someone who is sturdy and strong and built for farm labor.

    Love and shalom,
    Serena